Tuesday, April 29th 2008
Posted by Johnny
People in my life sometimes like to point out that things often go my way. Maybe things do happen for me more easily than for others, but it certainly didn’t feel that way in March. I was trying to find a living situation in West Hollywood and a renter for my place in Palm Springs without much success. When I found a renter I was still without a place to go to and then the renter fell through leaving me back at square one. It didn’t help that I didn’t have a job lined up, but where was the time to take care of that?
Then fate turned her frown upside down and I secured a really great renter and a potential roommate all about the same time. Through my network I discovered a friend of mine in WeHo was moving and needed a roommate. He and I had always gotten along very well and soon we found a cute place in a great location we could afford. Well, if I could get a decent job anyway.
My readers know me as an organic food eating, animal rights supporting, environmentally aware, music loving wine freak with an affinity for nudity and spreading positive energy in every direction possible. Well now there are two of us at home and we spend a whole lot of time here in relative peace providing The Abbey keeps the noise down. I’m very excited about this very new phase in my life and to share some of my enthusiasm I put together a little welcome video for your amusement.
Filed in Home & Garden, Just Life, Local Color & Atmosphere, Media, Watch Johnny | 7 Comments »
Sunday, April 20th 2008
Posted by Johnny
This isn’t all that comfortable for me to casually talk about, but I’ve been assured that it’s blogworthy news. A press release from Channel 1 Releasing on Monday announced the launch of an all new Johnny Hazzard sex toy – this time it vibrates. One of the selling points is that it was molded right from the source and all I can say is I’m glad they didn’t throw away the mold from the first time! That is an episode from my life I wouldn’t want in syndication. So for those of you interested in having your own little piece of me that is even better than the real thing, well in July you’ll get your chance.
In the same press release there was a big focus on my “comeback” to the adult world and other worlds that left me just a bit baffled. Jason Seacrest picked up the story for his column in Odyssey Magazine. I mean, just because I haven’t been in many releases lately doesn’t mean I’ve been on hiatus. My contract with Rascal is based on a certain number of scenes and let me tell you, those scenes will be shot come hell or high water! Anyway, it is kind of exciting to have the new big feature from C1R NAMED after me! That is cool. Oh yeah, my new movie is called Hazzard Zone. Presumably because it was filmed in a sex club called The Zone. And for the record, that was my first visit to that establishment. New video, new toy and other soon-to-be publicized newness are all coming together to make me feel rather new on the whole! More to follow very soon.
Filed in Porn, Publicity | 15 Comments »
Thursday, April 17th 2008
Posted by Johnny
Last Saturday I went to Morgantown, WV to perform at the Military Ball in a club called Vice Versa. What a cute name for a bar! This was my second visit to the venue. The first time was four years back when I was a wee porn pup. I was pleasantly surprised with the atmosphere. The crowd was so young that I was a little alarmed at first, but I found that the crowd was completely unaffected by the gay bar scene and were just there to have fun and have fun they did!! I loved their energy and their disinterest in posing, having an attitude or wearing their sunglasses indoors. It was a most agreeable change of pace for me.
Two of the resident drag queens went on before me. Jezebel and Seduca, two of the Midwest’s finest, and let me tell you those girls could move. Jezzie did a cover of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” and from that I could see why she was in demand. Fiery Seduca tore it up with “Toy Soldier” moving those feet in an effortless swing that made me smile and cheer. I always seem to like the girls that can really dance as well as lip sync a tune and those two did not disappoint.
These two cuties gave me my first real lemon drop shot.
and this “shy” young lady wanted me to sign her tits.
Next destination….Las Vegas – with a surprise guest!
Filed in Glamour, Local Color & Atmosphere, Media, Out & About, Photos, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Publicity, Watch Johnny | 5 Comments »
Friday, April 11th 2008
Posted by Johnny
This video took longer to make than Cleopatra and feels almost as long. Still, I couldn’t bear to wait a minute longer so for all my fellow Ab Fab freaks out there: This is for you!
Filed in It's All Relative, Media, Watch Johnny | 14 Comments »
Friday, April 4th 2008
Posted by Johnny & Boy Wonder
Road rage is a big problem around the country and particularly here in Los Angeles. What most people don’t realize is that while road rage is a condition experienced by the driver, the cause is a collaborative effort in which we all partake. Some people think they can beat the traffic gridlock by breaking rules and taking risks. Well, they just make it worse – even worse than those poor fools who think being extra, ultra careful is useful to anyone. Since that is too broad a topic for anything less than an in depth thesis I decided to talk about two simple things that contribute to congestion and are utterly avoidable.
My first topic is a novel concept called deceleration. Most people are quite aware and fond of acceleration when that luxury is available to them, yet when it comes to deceleration you’re far more likely to get a blank stare than a knowing nod. Deceleration is the simple act of releasing the “go” pedal and allowing gravity to do what it does best. Sorry tailgaters, this only works with a reasonable distance between you and the vehicle in front of you. Ever wonder why you have to get new brake pads every six months?
It’s sad, but true that most people are running on pure animal instinct when they drive. Who can blame them? There are just so many things you can do in a car these days and let’s face it: Driving is boring! Instead of making decisions people apply their brakes as the blanket solution to everything. And those brake lights trigger other semi-sentient drivers to brake without thinking until the median speed of the roadway is significantly lowered. And then they do it all over again.
The next item is courtesy, but don’t jump to conclusions. This isn’t the sort of courtesy most people associate with that word. It’s an important word that I think is trivialized in this country. Just like consideration it has lost all meaning mostly because the whole meaning wasn’t known in the first place. Anyway, I’m talking about common sense courtesy that is efficient and universally beneficial and it has nothing to do with handkerchiefs. A prime example is the zipper effect of merging traffic. When two lanes have to merge into one there people tend to defend their turf in a ridiculous struggle. It’s so fucking stupid and nobody really achieves anything aside from making an unpleasant situation last even longer.
Here’s a little secret for you. During a merge, the lane the doesn’t end will always move the slowest. The cars have to make room for those being kicked out of the ending lane and that is translated directly behind. So if you don’t mind begging to be let in you should definitely hold out in that lane and show those poor suckers who followed the construction signs just how good at math you are. There are lots of little things to do to shave valuable seconds off their drive. Pretend to make a right hand turn at an intersection and then jet out of the lane right in front of the line! That’s a great strategy, but don’t get pissed off if someones calls you on it and ends up trapping you behind a parked car. Just because you’re a tactical genius doesn’t mean you aren’t also a selfish asshole.
Filed in Media, Pet Peeves, Watch Johnny | 8 Comments »
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