Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Friday, July 22nd 2011

The Boy Is Back In Town

Posted by Johnny

After 12 hours and some 600 miles I arrived at my summer feeding grounds and very special place, Provincetown, Massachusetts. I’ve been coming here for 11 summers now. Well, I may have missed 2 or 3. My drive was quick; once you drive cross country solo a 12 hour drive is like a trip to CVS.


Upon my arrival I was greeted with a slew of moisture, cobwebs and bugs.. mostly silverfish. If you’re not familiar with them they are nasty little fuckers that resemble a more advanced and evolved centipede.

I got through enough cleaning to head out and meet some friends who were here for the weekend. They had with them another buddy who was new to me. We got to talking and the inevitable question of what I did came up; usually guys know and just like hearing me say it; however, this one seemed to really not know. I told him “sales” and promptly asked the group if anyone needed a beer. He wisely got the hint and we moved on.

Fade in to the next day and we were all walking down the street when he mentioned he needed sunscreen. I took him into a little store that I frequent. As soon as we entered the store the guy behind the counter said, “You’re on the cover of a magazine!” He of course had to run and get it to show us. I looked at my new friend and said, “I’m not really into sales.”


It wasn’t bad enough that that happened, but the photo they used was from 2005. I looked juvenile compared to what I look like today. I guess it was sort of cool to see such a big change right in front of me… he laughed about it. I smiled and asked if he needed help with that sunscreen.

Friday, July 15th 2011

I Got Nuthin’

Posted by Johnny

After 3 days, 2 nights, 32 hours and more than a few 100 miles later I arrived into Cleveland from Los Angeles. I was only slightly concerned that I would be lonely or antsy on the road. Neither was the case; in fact, it went by very fast, very smoothly and I could not have asked for better weather. I wish I had some revelations to share with you all, but I’m afraid I do not. I spent the majority of my time not thinking and when I did engage in such behavior I thought about how I’m going to proceed with a new project I started with Randy Blue.

Nice Drive

I’ve learned in the last year that I am definitely someone who can do this sort of thing; many people are not and cringe when I tell them what I do on a regular basis, driving I mean. I find the whole experience rather therapeutic and cleansing although I’m not looking forward to doing this drive anytime soon.

No Glam Here

Friday, June 24th 2011

My Sort Of Fun

Posted by Johnny
Out There

A few weeks ago I packed up the boys and headed to Montana. One of my dear friends bought two houses up there in a quaint little town called Gardiner about an hour away from Bozeman. To give you a little perspective on the kind of town Gardner is, the nearest Target or Home Depot is in Bozeman. So a little heaven – and a little hell.


Scott and I had a mission: To get the place ready for renters; doing small repairs, hanging photos and helping figure out what was needed. Not surprisingly, the landscape was stupid beautiful. I was also introduced to the reciprocating saw, my new favorite toy.

Cut Up

Driving seems to be my theme lately as I’m driving across the country for the seventh time. Stay tuned…

Wednesday, May 4th 2011

From The Scrapbook

Posted by Johnny

I ran into an old friend that I used to work with in P’town back in the BJ years (before Johnny). I was 22 and it was my first time away from home. The start of a whole new chapter of my life. God I hated that shirt.

Having fun

Tuesday, April 19th 2011

It Is Never, Ever “Frisco”

Posted by Johnny

I met Ma Hazzard in San Francisco last week. It was her first time. I thought it’d be great to finally do all the touristy things that I’d never done. In addition to Alcatraz, Fisherman’s Wharf, Muir Woods and the Castro I surprised the Mother unit with a chauffeured trip through Sonoma Valley wine country.

Having fun

I arrived the day before on a Thursday morning, 3 hours late, to fierce winds and ridiculous rain. Mom however arrived the next morning to big blue skies and sunshine; I couldn’t have been happier…wait, that’s a lie, I would’ve been much happier had I known that where I booked her hotel was crack city central; no wonder it was so cheap. As we made our way up the subway escalator we noticed a man hugging a lamp post, it was only after we got close enough that I noticed he was falling out on heroin. Mom grabbed my arm and I told her not to make eye contact and stay indoors.

Having fun

We had a great time touring the city and. It was especially nice to see this great city again through a fresh pair of eyes. My favorite part would have to be the tour through Sonoma… I am a huge fan of Pinots and we tasted some amazing ones, not having to worry about driving was especially fantastic. My only regret is that Mom left on the best day of the week; it was 70 degrees, sunny and filled with naked sunbathers in the Castro.

Having fun