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Donkey’s lips do not fit onto a horse’s mouth.

It was after school in April. I normally stayed late to catch the middle school bus home from my high school. Our schools were all on the same campus, K thru 12. The upper classmen took to making fun of me that year. I knew that in ten years they would still be taking the same bus being miserable and living at home, but it did not help to alleviate the afternoon of pain and ridicule that I would have to endure if I chose to ride the bus home from school at 2:30.

There were about ten of them that ran in a pack preying on the weak, timid and the different and all of them were on my route home. So I stayed after; an hour of empty time was worth avoiding the torment. She was there as well, probably for the same reason. She was one of the different, she always had been. She frankly never had a choice. She was adopted and through the years of grade school never really got along well with everybody else. She tried so hard to fit in that in the end the only way was to fit out. It did not help that she failed a couple of grades along the way and was two years older than us. She developed far beyond her years and at 16 she could have passed for 20 and in some cases she probably did. She was always extra nice to me and I tried very hard not to be to nice to her in public; it would surely mean that both of us would be targeted by the pack and in that case there was not strength in numbers.

Just to pass the time I found myself talking to her and before I knew what was what we were upstairs in the girls bathroom and she had her breast out. I remember not knowing what to do except what I had seen in movies so I kissed it and felt its extreme size in the palm of my hand. It was weird and all I could think about was what would be for dinner that night after I rode home with the 6th and 7th graders.

It did not go very much farther than that. I was hungry and at that point, was not looking forward to visiting the other bases; I had forfeited this portion of the game as far as I was concerned.

The next day in the lunchroom she approached me quietly; she knew not to act too friendly. In the communication hub of the school if anybody suspected anything it would be common knowledge by 8th period. She did not mention anything about the encounter over the American Standard, but instead held out a condom, giggled and walked away.

At the time I had two buddies in school. We all owned mopeds and lived relatively close to each other. We had nothing in common during school hours for we all ran with different crowds, but after school we were always together. As soon as I was handed the golden foil packet I ran to show my friends, hoping that this would finally be the dose of male acceptance that I had hoped and longed for. It was just enough for them to almost shoot in their pants; their friend had just been given the get go to go all the way. In their minds it was just as good as if they had been given the golden ticket themselves. For two days thereafter we discussed everything about her, her body, what she may have looked like “under there” and what she might do… and not do. Eventually the subject of a 4 way came about. This excited me greatly. I had yet to experience anything sexual with either sex and now I was going to have it all at once. Thank God because I was not digging the thought of pussy on its own without assistance of my buddies.

My parents were both home and upstairs talking to each other unaware of the orgy their son had arranged beneath their feet. She was the last to arrive. I cannot remember if she agreed to the quadra-fuck or even if she had been asked, but I was going to try. Again I cannot remember how we got there, but there we were just the two of us in front of the washing machine on the cold concrete floor. At that age all I needed to do was take my cock out and it was hard so it did not matter what or who was in front of me. We had our pants off and I had just put the rubber on myself. She had to guide me in because I had no idea what I was doing, I was just hoping that my boys would show up soon and “lend a hand”. As I began to do what I thought I was supposed to I heard the sounds of shoes on concrete and began to get very excited. The footsteps stopped and the sound of giggles echoed quietly. The laughter faded to the TV room where the boys waited for me to report to them every dirty thing that I we did. Little did they know that way before they got there I had shot my load; it took 2 pumps, I was a 2 pump chump.

I created a story for my buddies based on a Penthouse forum article I had read. It didn’t matter because they believed every word I said. I had won the approval of my male friends, but now I had something else to tackle.

It isn’t shocking that I was totally unaware of the emotional connection women have with sex. In her mind we were a couple. I put a halt to that, but did allow us to be friends, “secret friends” – we would not talk during school hours and only in the private of one another’s home would we interact. She seemed very happy with this arrangement and was willing to be sworn to secrecy. We messed around for a while and I experimented with the different sexual acts that I had seen in XXX films. I did not take very well to the oral part of things. I almost gagged and have since never returned.

As the years went on we grew apart. In 10th grade I was at my peak of being angry at any and everybody including myself. I was using lots of drugs and cutting school. The desire to visit the upstairs girl’s bathroom was soon replaced with smoking in the boy’s. I do not know what happened to her. There are plenty of rumors though like, like she is living in Kentucky with 7 kids or she is some bargain bin porn ho; that one is my favorite.

I hope she is happy and I wish that she had been happier and treated better then (myself included). It was a very hard time for a lot of people in very different ways; it was the worst 3 years of my life and I cannot believe I endured so much at that age. I guess that is why I had acted out so severely. It didn’t kill me, it made me stronger. Hopefully it made her stronger, too.

This tank top auction is really exciting. I’m looking forward to the end when things will hopefully heat up. It would be great if the pups and I could split several Ben Franklins. Speaking of pups, get a load of this adorable, sweet dog that was rescued this week in Pasadena. A friend of mine sponsored the dog and Karma Rescue paid for the adoption. At first he was just going to put the puppy up until she could be adopted, but she won him over and may just keep her all to himself. Another success story!

Meanwhile, South of Market, Johnny and François are enjoying some time together. We had lunch in the Castro, came back to Noe Valley to check the listings of local flicks. We became a little side tracked with each other and the camera. I let F pick the movie. He suggested “Slither”, he had seen it before and was very up on the idea of watching it with me.

“Is it a scary movie?”
“Oui”
“Let’s go!”

More of an excuse to slide up to those shoulders! Well I still slid up to those shoulders, but not because I was scared. The movie was, as F put it so appropriately, “cheesy”. If you have seen “Attack Of The Killer Tomatos” or “When Mars Attacks” you have the gist. From what F told me, the director was the guy from “Day Of The Dead” – it showed. I think he may have been stoned or something because it was slightly comedic, not scary like “Day Of The Dead” but did posses some gory scenes. The company was definitely the winner on this one. After that we enjoyed a bottle of Amarone and a great meal at this Italian grill downtown.

We all know that F is beautiful, duh! But after the initial cloud of lust comes down one has to engage himself in a conversation or two. I enjoy talking to him. He makes me laugh. 5 points. We share a lot of the same feelings regarding girls, the public, our jobs and the way we operate. I also found out that we sort of grew up the same way. I have never met anybody who grew up like me. It’s very comforting. I have never met anybody who shares the same lifestyle as me; yet had some hard times getting here.

Also, I have never met anybody who drinks so much Diet Coke and other sugar laden beverages. Between the Red Bulls and the protein shakes this man has a can of Diet Coke in his hands at all times. I had to get proof for my readers. On the subject of proof, I have been thinking about asking F if he would mind perhaps creating a home movie with me. You know, like Colin Farrell did not so long ago? It would be nice for us to have something(s) to remember each other when he returns to France. *wink* I better get out the instruction manual.

Boy Wonder sent me a photo of François Sagat last Monday. The subject of the e-mail was “HOT!” and no message was needed. What he didn’t know was that I had already met François at the GayVN Awards ceremony and was attempting to wrangle a meeting with him while I was in LA. Does he know my taste or what?

It looked as though our schedules would not permit a meeting and I was disappointed to say the least. Then out of no where he was in LA for work on Wednesday and guess where Raging Stallion put him up. That’s right – my very hotel, within sight of my poolside room. Destiny – not just cheap perfume after all.

I’m not ashamed to say it. I was nervous as hell about meeting him. I had positioned myself in front of the window that faced the front entrance. I was so nervous that I had chewed my finger nails down to near bloody stubs and was just about to start on my toes when he arrived. He has a very commanding presence and that intimidated me almost as much as the rush of anticipation that was cramping my stomach. As soon as we met he put me at ease with his mischievous smile and gracious charm. There was no attitude at all. His charm and personality were instant winners. Boy Wonder overheard me talking with François on Monday night and when I got off the phone he said, “You know, you should play it a little cooler. You are Johnny Hazzard after all.” My head just doesn’t work that way. If a guy makes me giddy just thinking about him, you had better believe I’m going to feel just a little vulnerable and insecure. That’s right, folks.

Once the initial confrontation was behind us it didn’t take long for our chemistry to kick into high gear. Every inch of this man is a turn on for me. If you ask me, he is physically perfect. And his hot, French accent only makes things worse. When a man takes control of a situation I melt like snow in the rain. As we were in his room talking I felt like this was my first time at the rodeo. I couldn’t find my words, was studdering and had no idea how to direct the conversation. Then he asked, “Do you want to go outside, stay here or maybe….kiss?” No, how about we go outside. François took the reigns on that one. I am usually the one to make the first move, but I just couldn’t muster up the courage – thank God he did. We then went for a wild ride – definitely an “E” ticket. The best part though was sleeping soundly wrapped around him with my face buried in his neck. Utter perfection.