Last summer I discovered a real gem in my music library. I have no idea how it came to be there, but boy was I ever pleased with its discovery. Naturally I sent it to Johnny immediately thinking he would be just as thrilled as I was. Listening to this mix made me want to dance so I borrowed a camera from work and made a little dance video. My intention was to have Johnny do the same in Boston so I could combine them for a “duelling dance” clip.

When I pestered him for his contribution he admitted that he wasn’t very enthused by the track. Are you kidding me? Anyway I was totally bummed because I had already edited my bit with spaces for him to be included. I wasn’t about to post of video of just me, I mean, who cares? Well screw that because I happen to like the video no matter how horrific it may be to watch myself dance. Besides, I’m planning a major remodel of my hideous apartment and this makes for an excellent “before” example.

So take a moment and watch what happens when music and copious amounts of liquor inspire me during the hottest week of the year – much to my roommate’s dismay.

There are a great many things I can come up with to pass time in a hotel room with Johnny Hazzard. Since most of those activities are not available to me I have to settle for things like this. Yes, that’s right, it’s the Ab Fab Series One Trivia Quiz! Johnny’s and my adoration for Absolutely Fabulous can only be rivaled by the cult-like devotion of spotty-faced Trekkies that live in urban basements and recite scenes from Monty Python sketches for no apparent reason. So I thought it might be fun to have a trivia quiz to showcase just how sick we really are when it comes to all things Patsy and Eddie. We didn’t really keep score, but I included all of the relevant clips so you can be the judge. Enjoy*!

* Let’s be honest: Only complete freaks will enjoy this.

Sometimes I marvel at the elaborate lengths I will go to in order to avoid an unpleasant task. Why just this morning I was about to start working on something when suddenly I found myself reading up on my home town of Kodiak. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the native people of that island had male concubines!

The Koniagas had been studied by European explorers, who marveled at their practice of male concubinage: “A Kodiak mother will select her handsomest and most promising boy, and dress and rear him as a girl, teaching him only domestic duties, keeping him at women’s work, associating him with women and girls, in order to render his effeminacy complete. Arriving at the age of ten or fifteen years, he is married to some wealthy man who regards such a companion as a great acquisition. These male concubines are called Achnutschik or Schopans.

This discovery led me to further research about people between the sexes (and killed a good hour of time to boot). The result of my findings? Our civilization is one of the few that has persecuted gays. I knew native Americans thought of homosexuals as people with two spirits, but it turns out that many primitive cultures revered those between the sexes.

I often find myself frustrated by the snail pace at which our race seems to develop. It didn’t occur to me that we might be going backwards! To think that thousands of years ago multiple genders were perfectly acceptable and these days a man can’t even wear a taffeta ball gown without getting looks at the bus stop!