Sunday, September 17th 2006
As Fresh As The Morning
When Johnny expressed a little impatience on Thursday with regards to the long development period of the new HazzardXXX.com site I figured I had better buckle down this weekend and make some progress. Not that I’ve been ignoring the project, quite the contrary. It has been months since the design was complete, but I have gone through five different content management systems and none of them thrilled me. So I thought I had found the right one yesterday and this morning I awoke to find the server down leaving me without a work agenda. Instead of scrubbing my tub, going through the two months of mail on my dressing table or trying to discover the source of that mysterious smell in my room I opted to create the photo galleries from the Delinquents glamour shoot. After all, you need content for a new web site, right? That smell will be there tomorrow.
Six hours later I was still on the first of three galleries. It didn’t occur to me just how long it would take to give those photos the loving attention they deserved. Usually I would be sick and tired of the subject matter by this time, but for some reason I’m not at all over seeing Johnny half naked on high quality linen sheets. Go figure.
Jerrod, I am sure the new Johnny site you create will be nothing short of outstanding. Lets move on to the matter of your less than fresh sleeping quarters. Are there any missing republicans hidden underneath your bed? If not, its time to wash the linens! (Well, a trip to the washing machine always takes the funk from my bedroom.)
Don’t worry, it was just a wayward taco bag underneath an old towel. Nothing to call the CDC about.
I would have sworn that smell was all those fantasies of ours that died when you shaved your stubble.
Thanks to my aversion to shopping and appalling work ethic, the stubble is back.
Boy Wonder, You do not enjoy shopping? I hereby revoke your gay card. From this day forward your nipples will become hard when a scantily clad woman is sighted.
Yes, I hate shopping. Of course, what I was referencing isn’t so much shopping as errand running. Battling traffic, parking, navigating the aisles among the many brain-dead sad sacks that take forty minutes to choose a toothpaste and waiting in line behind people who need a price check on half their items and have expired coupons for the rest. Frankly, I’d rather play Pictionary with Amanda De Cadenet as a partner.
Last week I ordered take out from a restaurant just two traffic lights from my
crap shackapartment. Just to retrieve the food that was already prepared when I arrived took forty minutes round trip. The food was delicious, the trauma was not.Boy Wonder, next time you pick up takeout from that particular dining establishment I would suggest walking. Damn, I’m a genius. Even I turn myself on sometimes. (Keep the scruff this time and you may find yourself being fed French fries by Chris Steele. Not that anyone would kick a smooth Jerrod out of bed!)