Ma Hazzard helped me test the audio recorder I use for blogging some weeks ago and I forgot to add it to the blog. It turned out pretty funny so I knew I’d have to share it with everybody.
Since Johnny didn’t take any photos of his trip to San Jose, I was very pleased to receive some from one of the fans he met there. This is Frank with Johnny and Tyler Riggz. Frank has amazing taste in music and shops at one of my favorite record stores ever – Medium Rare Records near the Castro in San Francisco. Thank you, Frank, for the photo and the music tips!
Johnny has been sick the past several days. All that travel and double shifts took their toll on our little porn prince. Personally, I thought he was angry with me for calling him a loser when he couldn’t find the new text in the About section. As it turns out he was just sleeping and hallucinating with fever. What a relief!
Johnny and I put together a lengthy story of how the two of us came to be friends. Check it out in the About section under Boy Wonder.
Today Johnny heard from James Collins, the guy that wrote the song “Spellbound” for Sherrie Lea. He found Johnny’s video on You Tube and wrote to say he was pleased that Johnny chose his song for some bootie shaking. How cool is that? Both the performer and composer have expressed their pleasure with Johnny’s participation in their art. How far we’ve come!
Now I know what you’re all thinking. When will we see the next Johnny Hazzard video? The plans are already in the works. I won’t say which song he’s chosen, but it is a personal fave of mine and considering the deep, sultry nature of the tune I can only imagine what hot moves Johnny has in store for us.
When that project comes to life I’m going to challenge Johnny to a dance off. We’ll pick a song and each do our thing and mix the results for your viewing pleasure. It’s all about having fun, kids.
Speaking of dancing, I’ve been reduced to having private dance parties in my bedroom and that just isn’t sufficient. So tonight I’m going to go out to Micky’s and see if their DJ has his shit together. At the very least I will have taken in a view different from that of my balcony, which is all I’ve had for the past six weeks.
Happy Father’s Day everybody!
Sometimes I get sick of porn. Yeah, it happens – believe it or not. Today I thought for sure I would be ruined as I had to review hundreds of titles on our web site to make sure the galleries weren’t fucked up. Instead I am freaky horny as a result. Stills are so much hotter to me because the peripherals of a situation are left to the imagination. In video you have to rely on the performers and the director to supply the chemistry and let’s face it; that rarely tops what you could come up with yourself. Unless, of course, you have no imagination.
Finally I stopped because I was getting really worked up over the images. For once today it would be nice to walk through the office without sporting wood. No e-mail, damn! I decided to Google myself. Talk about bored! For the first time ever I was number one! Finally I knocked that fire fighter from Nebraska off page one and secured myself at the top. How sad that I find that so exciting…
I was very pleased to secure an early flight out of Atlanta to arrive in San Jose at a decent hour. What happened next took me completely off guard and left me more than a little freaked out.
When I arrived at the gate I did my usual, subtle scan for signs of young life; strollers, screams or scurrying toddlers. The area seemed to be void of kids – not a crushed Cheerio in sight. I did see a woman looking rather, um, homely, dressed in a very long pink T shirt that came well below her thighs. It boasted a picture of Tweety Bird and read in bold print at the end “I Do Not Have An Attitude”. It resembled a night shirt that I had seen in Target before. She was going to be, along with her mother, my row partner for the trip to San Jose.
Not long after I sat down I noticed that we were not alone. They each had a stuffed animal with them. The mother looked about mid 50’s and had a poodle in overalls. The poodle was made from what I could only describe as pink shag. Not just any old pink, but an assaulting, violent cotton candy pink. The daughter, in the nightshirt, was 30ish and had a miniature version of the same poodle, designed with the same material. After a few moments it was clear that they were speaking to each other – all 4 of them!
Both women had assigned their respective poodles a voice that was a slightly higher pitched version of their own. Each one was jumping up and down on the service tray as it communicated with either their owner or its sibling. It was kind of weird and embarrassing to witness. The mother began to explain in open dialogue that she was happy not to be too old to “play” and when and if it became time to not play anymore she would be old. All this was channeled through her poodle who bounced around, moving its head from side to side speaking in a frighteningly childish tone.
Whenever one of them would leave the seat to visit the rest room, which was quite often seeing that between the two of them they had consumed a twelve pack of Coke, they would leave the pink poodle propped up in the chair watching the TV monitor in the seat back in front of them. When she would return, the poodle and the other woman would welcome her back and tell her all about what she had missed on Animal Planet while she was gone.
They had a couple of conversations that I overheard, partly out of eerie fascination and partly because I was thinking of documenting this in words. One was how they were glad “Daddy” was not with them because they would have had to pay for two seats again. Apparently he was so large that he required two. They explained to the poodles that they were not fat, and they had lost a number of pounds. They seemed barely able to fit themselves in their own seats, and judging by how they kept the service staff busy with Coke refills, I wondered if the poodles were believers.
Another point of interest was how the women spoke of their travels, not just from city to city, but all over the globe. They spoke of going to New Zealand, Singapore, twice, Thailand and more. I wondered if “Daddy” had to purchase two seats and if the poodles had accompanied them in their international travels. Maybe they had different companions for that sort of thing, like a frog in a tu-tu or maybe a koala in a pair of surf shorts. Either way, I didn’t buy it. I came to the conclusion that they were a pair of women who had a case of borderline personality disorder. They were on their way home on pass and found it satisfying to speak loudly and openly about their worldly experiences.
This is entertaining now, but at the time it irritated me. I chose to turn my twisted little Fractured Fairy Tale incident into something funny, so here we are. I had my camera and I thought briefly of asking the women to either pose for a shot or allow the poodles to. After further thought on the subject I opted against it out of fear of engaging in some sort of dialogue with one of the women or worse, all 4 of them. So I have no proof of my little journey to San Jose. You can choose to believe me or not, but either way you slice it, that shit is warped funny as hell.
