Sunday, October 12th 2008
Judge Not The Horse By His Saddle
Johnny and I had a nice, little dinner on Friday to catch up with things and he told me a story that I think will be most interesting to our readers.
Last weekend Johnny waited on a large table of gay men. He found one of them very attractive and as (Johnny) luck would have it the guy offered him his card and told him to give him a ring. A few days later Johnny called him up and they made plans to get together a few days later. The day before they were supposed to meet Johnny called to confirm and left a message. On the day of their date he still hadn’t heard back from him and still hasn’t as far as I know.
Now what kind of idiot would screw up a date with Johnny Hazzard? He is perplexed and I am outraged. Johnny is not the kind of guy that talks about boys and sex. For him to mention out loud that he thinks a guy is good looking is a rare thing indeed. In fact, it borders on the shocking. I can show him a photo of a guy that I KNOW is exactly his type and he’ll simply reply, “Nice” like it was a particularly fetching china pattern or a nice view of the river. Wait, that’s not true. He’d me MORE excited about the river view I suspect.
If you think Johnny is too private here at Hazzard Ahead it’s because he’s that way in person as well. Unlike the rest of us gay boys that chatter endlessly about cock sizes, sex, drugs, and bloody ever like it’s a girlie teenage slumber party every day, Johnny is far more likely to be overheard talking about the premium price he paid for wild shrimp or that the coffee at Java Detour wasn’t quite right that morning. It’s so freaking annoying sometimes! Just once I’d like to hear him go on about getting royally rogered by some majestic fireman with a crotch sausage that could be mistaken for firewood.
It just won’t happen and I’m growing to accept that. Slowly.
In other news, Johnny gets back from New York City today and he promised to be diligent this week about organizing all of his stories for the blog. There’s his trip to Toronto, two trips to the Big Apple and Ma Hazzard’s ten day visit for his birthday to cover so there will be plenty of heavy reading with photos and video in the near future.
Addendum: It turns out Johnny didn’t want to fly out so early this morning and won’t be back in LA until Tuesday. Just so you know. Must be nice.
I’ve decided to stop lurking around here and post.
Boys/Men can be so weird. I will never understand the behavior exhibited by Public Idiot #1. Seriously, who’d pass up an opportunity to get to know Johnny?! Not I and I’m a girl! If Johnny wanted to have a cup of coffee with me, I’d confirm and be at said place two hours early wearing the cutest outfit I could find in the greater Los Angeles Area with my hair did! LOL!!!
Where are these ‘mythological’ gay “girlie teenage slumber party” boys at? I squeal about cock, sex etc all, more than all of my gay boyfriends put together. They want my gay porn collection. Shouldn’t that be the other way around? LMAO!!
damn my female parts! pfft!
LMAO!
*mwah*
Crush – Thanks for the post. Sometimes it feels like we’re writing this for ourselves.
Someone had the gall to screw up a date with Johnny??? Are you kidding me??
Well, maybe they were just intimidated because he’s wayyy too good for them (clearly, if they can’t even call to cancel!)
He’s a idiot, I would do anything to get a date with Johnny, who is that guy that would let a chance like that go away?
Johnny is like the nicest guy you can ever meet.
Guys ARE weird and they become even stranger when the issue of my “job” comes into play.
Even though it blows hard it is becoming easier to handle and what can I say….it’s an occupational HAZZARD!!
I don’t get that mess about your ‘job.’ What’s the big deal? You aren’t killing puppies or some other madness. LOL! At least your occupational ‘hazzard’ weeds out the fucktards from the diamonds!
Men. Can’t live with them, can’t send them to check the nice view at the bottom of the river.
“Just once I’d like to hear him go on about getting royally rogered by some majestic fireman with a crotch sausage that could be mistaken for firewood.”
Jerrod, I love it when you talk dirty. If I had a kitty cat it would be moist right about now.
On another note, perhaps Johnny’s no show date had a bad case of diarrhea.
You can imagine how pleased I was to receive a text message from our GPH on Friday that said “airports really do make me horny”. That’s pretty dirty talk for him.
Robert, you’re taking all the romance out of the art of being stood up
Well Monsieur Frog, everyone has to bend a liquid biscuit every now and then. However, your point is duly noted. On another subject, perhaps the mystery man got called away on a secret mission to save the world. What could be more romantic than that?