Thursday, February 14th 2008

The other day I asked Johnny if he wanted to do a joint entry on Valentine’s Day. He liked the idea so I asked him for his opinion of the holiday. He wasn’t very forthcoming and I finally worked it out that he has no opinion because he’s never been involved with anyone who merited a holiday (during this particular time of year). Since he was neither bitter nor resentful I sent him on his way so I could take care of the task myself.

In the past I have not been shy about my disdain for certain holidays. Yes, the commercialism is vulgar and no, there’s really no believable connection between St Valentine and love and/or romance, but that isn’t what pisses me off most about this and other greeting card holidays. The really offensive bit for me is the obligation associated with these days.

Which of the following is more appealing to you?

1. Hi, I found this really fantastic book at an old store downtown and figured it was just the thing for you!
2. Hi, Here’s a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. Oh, I see you already have seven…

That’s the beauty of anniversaries and birthdays – they belong to you! The obligation for a gift, mention or phone call is entirely based on the recipient instead of a national commercial campaign. Cupid has a bow and arrow, but that isn’t good enough for advertisers. They’ve got the full-on forward offense with rapid fire machine guns and carpet bombing. You don’t stand a chance.

And if that wasn’t enough, this giant revenue engine is engineered to make people feel inadequate if they aren’t coupled with someone. Desperate citizens update their online profiles and tear through old date books to avoid being caught “alone” on VD. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends all scurry to get something for their significants and curse the holiday for falling on the eve of payday. Hearts are cello-taped to every surface, romantic music is piped into every public space and there isn’t a mylar balloon to be found for love or money in any of the shops. It’s madness I tell you!

Well, I feel much better now. Not that I wasn’t fine before – in fact, I almost forgot about VD this year. Sometimes I just like a good rant – especially when it’s about the monumental stupidity of our vapid culture.

This entry was posted by Boy Wonder on Thursday, February 14th, 2008 at 8:16 AM and is filed under Boy Wonder, Pet Peeves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.