Friday, May 25th 2007
Good Taste Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
In a follow-up to my previous post, I thought it might be fun to open a can of worms. It’s painfully obvious for me or any other living, breathing human to be attracted to Mason Wyler. What about those other people that unknowingly harvest our devotion for mysterious reasons?
This is a call out to all readers of Hazzard Ahead. Who are the guys that circumnavigate all of your defenses, the ones you’d willingly leave the country for or who can seem to do no wrong to deter your devotion? We all have them. Sometimes we’re embarrassed by the fact because they’re too obvious or too perverse. Who cares? Let this blog be your therapy. Sing out to your peers that you’re in love with Tony Danza! Why not?
OK. That may be a bit extreme. I’ll tell you what – I’ll start the ball rolling. Here is a list of guys I would board a train with and never look back and the reason why. I expect a similar response from our beloved readers.
Mason Wyler – Only if his relationship dissolved amicably and my body was better than his.
Milo Ventimiglia – If he begged me to be his undisputed life partner after I found him drunk and disoriented in an alleyway. Oh, and he would have to agree that his name was pronounced Mee Low.
David Krumholtz – When he proved mathematically that I would be his ideal lover.
David Boreanaz – Do I really NEED a reason? The man is hotter than Kilauea and I would gladly impersonate a woman to collect some of his seed.
Well, that was slightly more graphic than I had planned, but you get the point. We want to know who your sexual heroes are. Let it rip people, it’s a holiday weekend!
ANDERSON COOPER – pretty much the only time I watch the news is when its coming out of that mans gorgeous face! woof!
IAN SOMERHALDER – model/actor/star of my wet dreams. dark hair, light eyes, sick body; if I could build a BF itd look like him.
LUCA DICORSO – do I really need to explain this one? have u seen him?!?
JAMIE BELL- the kid from ‘billy elliot’ & ‘dear wendy’ & he was in ‘king kong’ for about 5 seconds he’s all grown up now and oh so edible. plus he has the ass & legs of a dancer.
too sleepy to think of anymore, goodnite
Given that Johnny Hazzard should already be included in all readers’ man-of-the-dream list of this blog, in first position of course… let me think… well, it’s hard… my man knows all porno actors by name, I don’t.
I guess certain boiling hot feelings occur more often when meeting flesh to flesh, than just virtually watching the computer screen.
Thus my sexiest heroes are just around the corner, like a tall athletic bricklayer who this morning sweetly smiled and frankly admitted to have completely lime whitened my black motorbike because he simply could not avoid it.
And that when I realized two hours later that he had parked his truck blocking my bike forever, I suggested him to call me up for any inconvenience. How gay of me!
He blushed anyway…
Those guys make me hot!! (apart JH of course)
I agree Johnny should be off competition. He might think we find him cute and then there’d be no end to it.
Anyway. I find british actors strangely sexy – aside from Jude Law who kind of creeps me out. But Ewan McGregor can drop his pants at my place anytime. DOMINIC WEST (”The Wire”) is my kind of guy from head to toe. And I find JAMES PUREFOY more beautiful than is good for my health.
I hate myself for admitting it but I would still jump RICKY MARTIN’s butt despite everything.
ERIC BALFOUR: Sex on a stick. If I was Clare in Six Feet Under, I would suck on that toe and count my blessings.
JAKE DECKARD. Anywhere. Anytime. Any way. And feel free to bring Spencer Quest.
Almost forgot – Gentlemen prefer blondes and so do we frogs, when they look like BUDDY JONES. Once took a train ride under a long tunnel with someone of the same irresistible appeal. Wish it could have been as dirty as some of our collective mind.
I need to add Zach Braff from Scrubs. Hot!!
BW — I’m guessing you’ve seen the photo shoot of Boreanaz in the tub?
So, my list, laying issues of SOs and orientation aside (and I’m including girls because, well, there are girls on my list):
Keanu Reeves — He’s pretty. *Really* pretty.
John Barrowman — He’s hilarious, insanely attractive, and have you heard him sing? (His husband’s adorable, too.)
Lori Petty — Tank Girl pretty much solidified my perpetual crush on her.
Jodie Foster — She’s gorgeous and smart.
I’ll have to second Milo Ventimiglia, too. Yum.
No I haven’t seen the tub photo shoot. I demand a link immediately! To think I used to work for a top celebrity photo agency and managed to miss that gem!
Thank you for bringing up Tank Girl. I LOVE that movie. Lori Petty RULED! By the way, my good friend (and Johnny’s) went on a few dates with her.
Of course I also love Jodi. She can do no wrong. And Milo, well, I can’t imagine anything that would diminish my crush on him. I would marry his hair!
Oh God, Jodie Foster… met her once. Have been green ever since. (How interesting, we all love Jodie and hate our respective presidents. Welcome to our new member, the CIA.)
Since we’re talking ladies, I might as well confess my against-nature attraction to Lucy Liu, Piper Perabo and that red-haired Pussycat Doll. They could even distract me from James Purefoy for a few minutes.
In my experience, Mathieu Kassovitz steals the show for the most desirable male on film besides our most gracious host.
If you haven’t seen “Amélie,” you really should. It’s been 9 years, people. Spread the gospel! Also, if you HAVE seen “Amélie” and “The Fifth Element,” you know who Mathieu Kassovitz is– “GIMME DE CASSSSHHHHHH!!!” as he says.
So long as we’re in the Latin vein– Antonio Banderas can take me away from my humdrum life any day. I don’t even have to look at him. One line in his voice can just sweep me off my feet and beg him to recite “El Cantar de Mio Cíd” in Old Spanish.
Call me a Latinophile, call me biased against the non-Mediterraneans in the world, but Johnny, Mathieu and Antonio are just the hottest out there.
The photo shoot was done by Isabel Snyder for a magazine layout back in ‘99, so it’s been around for a while. She’s got one small shot on her site, but the Wet Men site has more on his page (the top two, and the last). Enjoy! David’s not my thing, but those photos even got me to take a second, third, fourth look.
Lori Petty is going to be a guest at a convention I’m going to in September, so I may get to meet her. An ex of mine is PA’ing for one of the other promoters and hopefully she’ll keep me from being too much of a spazz.
I must confess I have always loved well build sportmen: My favorite are for sure the gorgeous Marat Safin and Andryi Shevchenko { like men playing with balls
}
You’re so right about Jodi, elfgirl!! But only one girl makes me crazy: Katie Mellua!! I’d be her private shy boy anytime she wants!!
Excuse my ignorance but who’s Lori Petty??
PS: Hope you’ve seen now David B in the tub BW and I thought Milo was a bit too small for you….
Given that you added that “willingly leave the country” bit… it narrows my list down a lot. I mean, there are a LOT of men, famous and otherwise, who I have lustbunnies for… but the intense kind of crush you’re talking about… that’s a short list.
Obvi, Johnny is on there. I don’t think I need to explain that one here?
Ricky Martin if he ever comes out of the closet…(:P) I just like his music…and his butt. And his hair.
Channing Tatum…he’s totally my future husband when I get to Hollywood.
Jim Verraros, cause even though he totally used to look really nerdy when he was on American Idol…. he’s frikkin’ GORGEOUS now! Ya’ll need to see this boy in the movie Eating Out, *so* cute. He’s also my future husband. I’m gonna bring back polygamy.
Roman Heart. Just cause…. he’s perfect. And he’s also only a year older than me so it’s totally reasonable. And did I mention the perfect?
There’s a few people who are just every day ordinary who drive me the same kind of crazy though. All people I can’t have. Like my manager at Abercrombie? Ha, that would happen to me.
David Boreanaz – He’s actually an interesting case. Sometimes, I don’t think he’s good looking at all. Sometimes, I think he’s the hottest hot thing I’ve ever seen. Often, I have this responses within a minute of each other when I’m watching Angel.
Alexis Denisof – So pretty and adorable.
David Tennant – So geeky and pretty and adorable.
Johnny Depp – Do I need to explain this?
George Clooney – It’s obvious and even cliche but GOOD GOD!
I forgot about Channing Tatum. Are you kidding me? He is like the extract of manly sexiness! And George Clooney – if EVER there was a husband fantasy!
Thank you for the link, elfgirl, I now need to change my panties. I only wish I could have had a glass of that bathwater to drink! ha ha ha
Elfgirl, I have to thank you for that link too. And add David Boreanaz to my list, now. His stuff on Buffy and Angel was hot…but that’s downright yummy!
hmmmmm, so, we can include girls??
sarah silverman- shes SO effin funny and she just happens to be hot. I love that about her.
El extranjero, totally agree with you on Kassovitz. And the good news is that he’s just as hot in real life.
BW & gcracker — You’re welcome. I love him with the goatee.
I want to add Edward Norton and Eddie Izzard to my list, too. For some reason, Edward Norton was completely off my radar until recently when I rented The Illusionist. YUM. And, Eddie Izzard — I *love* boys in eyeliner.
How fun to discover some new hotties! Thanks all!
My choices are somewhat pedestrian compared to everyone else, but … I have no shame!
Anderson Cooper – I’m totally with you est1981!
Jonathan Rhys Meyers – That mouth! Only wish he were more talented.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – Very beautiful. Very talented.
Gael Garcia Bernal – Sheer perfection.
Gale Harold – I know he’s done pretty much zero since “Queer as Folk,” but how I’m enjoying those re-runs!
Rita, the reason that Gale Harold has sort of “disappeared” since QAF is that he’s been doing stage work, not film or TV. I think the show he was in ended a few months ago so hopefully you’ll be able to catch him on a screen (big or small, who knows?) soon!
He has had some small parts in things that nobody’s ever heard of since he was in QAF though.
That does remind me though, Justin (even though he’s totally fictional
) is also on my list. I don’t usually go for short, young, and blond but he’s so cute and charming! I find Randy Harrison a little less charming, but I guess he could be on the list too…
Well, this is just too much fun to resist, so here I go, diving in at the deep end. From the straight girl perspective:
Johnny. I know it’s obvious, but still, yes, definitely Johnny at the top of the list.
Viggo Mortensen – please and thank you. Especially with the longer, darker hair a la LOTR. And the sword, he could definitely keep that, too. ::::melts:::
Tyler Florence – he could butter my biscuit and drizzle it with honey and … well, you get the idea.
Andrea Bocelli – the voice, and the shy smile, and the voice (it bears repeating) and mmmm, yes.
Hugh Laurie – he’s wonderful as House, but on his own is also charming and articulate (with the accent!) and witty and a bit shy… that combination gets me every time.
And I’ll stop now, but only because I have to get to work, and not because I am out of men.
Gale, is that you?
gcracker: I was just being glib. I know Mr. Harold’s been quite the working actor with “Vanished ” on TV, “Suddenly Last Summer” on Broadway and a slew of well-received indie films. And also there’s the documentary he co-produced which is currently screening at festivals worldwide!
PS:
Paul Rudd – Funny is HOT!
Charlize Theron – I’ve been mad about her since “2 Days in the Valley.”
Shame time: One of my favorite TV guys is Malcolm in the Middle star Justin Berfield. Sure, it’s not so bad now that he’s an “adult” except I thought Reese was hot from day one of the show.
ANDY KIRRA. Period. That’s it.
Oh, and Frog, I went to highschool with the redhead from the Pussycat Dolls. Her name is Carmit, but in school she went by “Cami.”
BW – From what I hear, Justin Berfield is family. *wink*
I knew it! Nobody with hair that fabulous could be entirely straight! Woo Hoo!
Wait a minute, what am I cheering for?
Carmit… sounds like the love child of Carmen and Kermitz. My kind of gal! God, Angel I mean, was she always so hot? I’m aware I’m talking like a drunk fratman here but, hey, some women will do that to you no matter what your orientation.
BW: As you know, I also have “Malcolm in the Middle” shame with my little crush on Francis, played by Christopher Masterson. Oh, pity, lilies that fester. He is nowhere near as handsome now that he’s gotten all “manly-like.”
In high school Carmit had mousy blonde hair and a very pronounced cleft lip. I am assuming that she had surgery on it because in photos now you can barely tell that it ever existed. She was always a FIERCE dancer and right out of high school she started studying under Robin Antin (who created PCD). She was also extremely sweet and introverted, nothing like the va-va-voom sexpot she is today. MEOW!
Sweet and a sexpot: my definition of a kitten. [*off to watch the 'Wait a minute' video again*]
I just had a blast from the past and remembered my insane teenage attraction to TIM CAPPELLO. Well it wasn’t that insane considering the starting point, it’s the place it took you.
Anyone old enough and lucky enough to have seen Tina Turner on stage in the first ten years after her comeback (roughly 84-94) will remember two things: Tina herself and Tim Cappello, her super hunky sax/keyboards player, who looked like the thinking man’s Conan the Barbarian, the 3D Harrap’s definition of “lust”, or the reason sex is considered a sin to begin with, and was apparently interested in bodybuilding, oiling himself up all over and showing off the results on stage. Oh and he played a mean sax too. But his biggest feat as far as I was concerned was stealing the scene from Tina if only for a few moments, with just a few shakes of his delectable butt.
You can get a glimpse of the magic towards the end of Tina’s video “One Of The Living” at 2:50 throughout the rest of the clip (sorry about the poor definition) and in a better quality clip from the movie The Lost Boys.
Boy, now this is a challenge. First, is Johnny, of course, and with the hair in full growth. The thought of getting to play in those locks is too irresistible! David Borenaz in the tub no less! Yes, please! Ben Browder of Farscape, Keith Hamilton Cobb, Tyson Bedford, Shemar Moore, Clive Owens, Michael Easton, Viggo Morgansten, David Wenham, Taye Diggs, Zeb Atlas, Cole Ryder, Jake Deckard and Jake Andrews. Pardon me, but I need to take a COLD-D-D shower right about now! This was more fun than I expected!
Saw Tina Live in Germany and Tim was worth the ticket price! Didn’t know that was him in The Lost Boys. Thanks. Jason Patric’s lips just beg for kissing. Add to my list, Jared Leto, those eyes.
i would have to say david beckham, anserson cooper and new zealand mtv vj jay reeves!