Monday, April 23rd 2007
Whatever Happened To Finishing School?
;)
Major advances in technology force the public to adapt and sometimes even modify the way they live their lives. When the stove came about we taught our children to not touch the burners. When the automobile was born we had to learn to look both ways before crossing the street or risk being splattered. At the same time, in order to operate an automobile, one had to be educated on the laws and earn a license to drive.
We learn the basic fundamentals of manners from our parents. You know, things like saying, “Excuse me” when passing in front of somebody else and not blurting something out during someone else’s conversation. Granted, parents could be doing a lot more in the way of teaching their kids manners and is it any wonder? They have no manners themselves! I guess it comes from a lack of consequences, but I am constantly shocked at the complete disregard for basic consideration when it comes to the use of mobile phones.
At the airport recently my thoughts were jarred when I overheard the conversation of a man behind me. I tried to figure out why I was so annoyed. Would I have been just as miffed had he been talking to his travel companion? No, because there is no way in hell that he would talk to somebody in front of him at that decibel. It was loud, very loud, shrieking wind with horizontal rain loud. This led me to think about the way I have seen people use phones and the various ways that it has pissed me off. There are a few simple principles I believe people should observe when using their phones in public. I realize that this information may seem a bit trite to the polite, respectful, educated and all-around awesome people that read this blog, but I’m in full rant mode and sometimes spelling out the obvious can make a difference.
Johnny Hazzard’s Mobile Phone Etiquette Guide
- If the volume of your conversation exceeds the level of ambient noise, kindly take your ass outside. A one-sided conversation is annoying under any circumstances.
- Every phone has a vibrate option. Locate this feature and think about how it can be used to maximize discretion. When you are out to dinner, in the theatre or anywhere that is quiet be kind to those around you. What a concept.
- For those individuals that forget when their phone is set on “deafen” and it goes off at the opera, instead of staring at it when it rings, contemplating whether or not to answer, press the ignore button or anything to bring our suffering to an end. If you need attention that badly, why not wear a sassy hat instead?
- Many people enjoy the use of multiple rings on their phone to indicate the type of incoming call. Fine. But do you really have to download a song to use for that purpose? And do you really have to leave your phone sitting about so it can go off incessantly without you there to intervene? I used to LIKE that song and now you’ve ruined it with your polyphonic rip-off!
- For the love of God show some respect to the sales people, cashiers or anybody who might be there to assist you and shut the phone off. At least put your conversation on hold for how ever long it takes to pay for your pants, latte or vodka tonic. If this requires more explanation for you then I think you should call your mother and ask how she can live with herself after unleashing such a rude, clueless clod on the world.
A little consideration goes a very long way. In fact, it’s a self-perpetuating cycle that has the potential to elevate our world. I know it will never happen, but is it really so hard just to try? Hmmmmmmmm?
I know it will never happen, but is it really so hard just to try?
Well, before people can try using a little consideration, they have to first acknowledge the fact they are jerks. Real jerks will never, ever be that self-aware. If you confront somebody using a cell phone rudely in public, they’ll have a variety of excuses for their thoughtless behavior. Each excuse will be Unique and Important, but of course, it’ll be the same thing over and over couched in different terms “I matter more than you. My convenience is more important than anybody else’s comfort. Go fuck yourself.”
I think it’s endemic for in…well, I was going to offer a specific age group, but really, I think it’s just endemic for America. After all, “Go fuck yourself” is the current ruling political philosophy…
Whatever happened to, “Please, may I?”
And “Yes, thank you?”
And “How charming?”
Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass
Whatever happened to class?
(I said I wouldn’t do it again and I didn’t. This is from “Chicago” as every goddamn f¤*#%* faggot here should know.)
AMEN FOR NUMBER FIVE!!!! PREACH ON BROTHER!!!
On behalf of corporate cube monkeys everywhere, I’d like thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for this post–especially #2 & 4. I appreciate the opportunity to mock my co-workers for their ringtone choices, but I really don’t want to hear that Pink/Fall Out Boy/Wicked/JPop song again. EVER. (And, do not get me started on the dumba** businessmen on their Blackberrys while driving.)
Pepper’s right. There’s a sense of entitlement that people seem to have these days that leads them to do things with absolutely no consideration for how it affects other people.
Speaking of politeness and etiquette, I realized I just popped up out of nowhere without introducing myself. Sorry about that. I saw your blog linked on another site and your writing hooked me (plus it was cool to find someone who talks about food like my husband does, although for him it’s as much about cooking as eating). I lurked around just reading for a while, but then I saw your comment about not having many girls commenting so I thought I’d pipe up. So, hi.
Strangely enough, I also know Pepper from elsewhere.
Johnny, “How charming” was Ch Chi in that video of you dancing your heart out in your sivvies?! “Yes, Thank You!” for the wonderful performance. I wore out 2 laptops in as many days watching it over and over. “Please, may I” recommend you make more similar videos, in your skivvies… you in those whitie tighties gives me a, ummm, eurphoric high!
Welcome aboard Elfgirl… Keep tuning in Genor, I guarantee more is on the way!
*waves at Elfgirl* It’s a small, small world.
You probably know Vivien, too.
Welcome elfgirl
If your husband talks about food like Johnny, can I marry him too?
the frog: Heh. Oh, sure–as long as you can live with him making inappropriate sounds over new kitchen knives, getting bitchy and pouty if you don’t like whatever new and wonderful thing he’s decided to fix for you to try, and looking at you pityingly when you tell him eiswein tastes like cough medicine.
He *does* wear a kilt all the time, though. So, you know, it evens out.
Here’s another one…
It’s bad enough when people talk on their phones at the movies… But people texting are just as bad. How lovely is it when you are getting into the movie when the light from someone’s cell phone screen shines right into your eyes and ruins the moment.
To those people, I say, “You paid more than half the price of a DVD to see the movie. Shut off your phone for 2 hours!”
Kilts provide a fantastic view – at least from the perspective of a frog!
People don’t realize how bright those (adjustable) phone displays can be. I use mine to find things like key holes in the dark. Sometimes I blind myself when I open the thing up at night and get the holy vision effect right in my face. Not fun!
*glares at BW*
Small is Sexy
so is the view
your mind’s dirty
so what is new?
I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist!
You’re just so… devious.
Among other things… that you like!
“People will say we’re in love, Clarice.”
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
- Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
What a subtle and refined way to tell the rest of the world that, contrary to appearances, we aren’ t rubbing stubbles or tousling each other’s hair long and short.
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Yes, it will, Precious, won’t it? It will get the hose!
My name is Talking Tina and you’d better be nice to me.
I’m always nice to you, darling. You are incorrigible and I adore you for that. You’re also a ruthless, cast-iron bitch and for that I respect you. How could I possibly ignore your admirable qualities, which I have only been exposed to through your second language? Your heart is deep, your soul meaningful, your tongue sharp and skilled. You are a hero to us here at Hazzard Ahead and deserve to be treated as such.
Gee, color me purple. That’s what us frogs do when we blush.
I will gladly accept your compliments since, all modesty aside, I deserve most of them. “Incorrigible”? Check. “Ruthless”? Check. “Cast-iron bitch”? Check, check.
I’m not sure the rest applies, but how charming nonetheless. Please may I point out that my tongue is indeed sharp and skilled though there’s no way you could possibly know that and no way I can elaborate on it without compromising the family-friendly nature of this site and the overall “polite” tone of this particular thread.