Monday, April 10th 2006
Fuck Humans, Save The Animals!
At about 7:30 this evening I was driving on the freeway, headed to my dad’s house. As I was reaching 65MPH, 3 large deer came galloping towards my car. I tried to swerve, but no luck. One of the deer came crashing into my car. The entire passenger side is crushed and my windows were smashed out, including the windshield. My fiance (Thank God) had his seat tilted back so he could sleep. Had he been sitting straight up, he could be dead. I pulled over and looked at him. His face was bleeding and he had glass in his eye. He started to gag while asking “what happened…?” I begged him not to vomit in my car. My car was filled with glass, blood and deer hair and I’m telling him to stick his head out of the hole where my window used to be if he was going to throw up. I’m such a bitch.
The police came and I was fine until they told me that the deer was dead, futher up the road. You see, I love animals. If the deer had somewhere to go, they would not be running down the freeway. I’m devastated. I called Johnny and asked him if he thought that maybe the deer was suicidal. We decided yes and I felt better. Which leads me to share another Johnny Hazzard story…
We were both 18 and working a summer job together. Without going into too many details, we worked at a place where our job was to help familes catch rainbow trout. We had to help the trout off the hook and then gut it and put it in a plastic bag for the families. It was horrible. Johnny would chase me around and slap me in the face with trouts. I was horrified. We hated seeing these fish die so stupid little kids could think they could fish.
One night, early in the summer we had a fabulous idea. Instead of starving the poor trout so they would bite for the customers, we would overfeed them so they would not want to bite. It was genius!!! We closed up the next night and before we left we poured the entire jar of feed into the trout pond. The next day we were sent home because the fish would not bite. It was wonderful. We still laugh about it today. So if anyone understands why I cried over the suicidal deer, it’s Johnny. We saved the lives of rainbow trout together. Bye for now, I’m off to Miami for the week!
