Yesterday I dropped mom at LAX for her red eye back home. The entire day I saw that she was keeping something back. Tears. Sadness. It broke my heart really, I was so sad to have to end what was such a great time for her. I could’ve honestly had her here for an additional week. Easy. But she had to go back. It was suprisingly painful for me that I actually cried most the way down La Cienega. I told her to call me when she got to the gate. I really meant it and felt so relieved to hear from her once she was there. Had this been the way she had felt when I left for my first day of kindergarten?

So tonight is the big night. The 2006 GAYVN Awards. I’m up for 5, including: “Best Actor”, “Best Performer”, “Best Solo Scene”, “Best Sex Scene”, and something else obviously not of much interest to me. The movie itself carries 12. To tell you the truth, I am a bit nervous. Not only for me, but for my company. This was such a monumental group effort. We all worked very hard to make this happen. Some had to work “harder” than others. Oh come on! You didn’t think I was going to let that pass did you? Last night and the better part of this morning were spent finishing the blazer I designed special for the event(s). Funny, I knew this was happening last year yet I still waited until 2 days before the party to start my project. I guess that keeps it fresh.

Tonight mother returns East. She has always enjoyed meeting the people that are close to me. All through High School she encouraged my friends to come to our house whenever they wanted. How convenient that our outdoor fridge came equipped with a tap of Miller Genuine Draft and a fully-stocked bar downstairs from the days when my parents owned and operated a bar. She loved meeting my friends and why should this visit and time of my life be any different? I had her meet Boy Wonder at one of our favorite little places, Cheebo. I also thought she would enjoy seeing the studio where all the magic happens. The day we visited the studio, I sat my mom in front of the new edition of Unzipped as I went upstairs to see who was there. I immediately saw Chi Chi and Rob Reimer, my publicist viewing the trailer for “GAYVN Performer Of The Year” in her office. “I have a guest here” I said in a non-chalant tone and yelled downstairs “come on up.” “Who is it?” Chi Chi asked. “My mom” I said. She couldn’t have reached for that remote to press stop fast enough. My mother gave her a big hug and as Chi Chi peered over her sholder, she caught my eye and said in a big smile with a very condescending tone “Do you really think it’s OK for her to be here”…”Are you kidding me?” “It’s soooooo fine”. After getting my approval and losing the quite attractive shade of embarrassment Chi Chi had just put on, she said “Great, look at this” With that being said, she pressed play and all 4 of us watched as man after man was introduced as contender for “Performer Of The Year.”

Right before we left, Rob kindly supplied my mom with all of my recent magazines and the “Warning” book put out by Greg Thompson. She took a quick look through the mags and said that she couldn’t wait to show some of her girlfriends back home.

I was so glad that she finally got a face to put to the multitude of descriptions and constant references I put out all the time. Now when I say that I am at the studio or that I’m having lunch with Boy Wonder at Cheebo, she can sit back in her Lazy Boy recliner 3000 miles away and see it just as if she were here.

first sex scene of the production, chad savage

i met chad at the gayvn awards in la back in march of 05. we had a great conversation, something that i have found to really cherish in this biz. we all claim to have our type in men, and most of us, myself inc., are pretty set to that. but every now and then someone comes along and just for that moment delivers an energy that it just irresistable. chad posesses that. after talking with him and then seeing him on video tape i was HOOKED, i put in a request for his company on my next job. the location was a house in bel air, great space but the decorating looked like something out of pier1 meets big lots, but hey thats just me right? anyhow it couldn’t have gone better. first of all, the boy knows how to kiss. if you have a raging, fat cock and don’t know how to make me melt with a kiss you might as well keep walkin’. luckily for me, chad didn’t have to rest on the laurels of his kissing skills as he has a tremendous cock worthy of knighthood and an ass to match.

we did it on this really comfortable poolside bed with the lights creating this shimmering ripple effect all over our bodies….oooo that was good huh?…..um….there are a few times that can remember after all is said and done, that hey!, i could hang out with this guy. its such a nice feeling. very rarely do i get to meet the men im with b4 hand for fear of persoanlity conflicts.
so when im through with (raunchy sex talk) its really nice to dig the person as a person not as an image or fantasy. after we got the final, thats a wrap, chad and i showered and i drove us back to the hotel, talking about Toyotas and enjoying the ride. again!

i awoke at 6 am for a 10 am call for a day of still shots at the studio and on location somewhere downtown where there are trains and shit. i drive myself to 24 hr fitness in weho, all the time remembering how different a mentality it is driving on the west coast let alone in LA. back in boston, there is not alot of space so things may take a while but there is not a lot of ground to cover. here 3 blocks is 20 mins, no wonder there are so many rear-enders, no im not talking about the general population of west hollywood.

My photographer Greg is magic, we have a relationship that flows like water, i know what he wants, and we do it, end result: FABULOUS! i have done hundreds of shots with greg, some even ending up in BLUE magazine, but this time something odd happened….i smiled. i never smile, dont know why, self conscience i guess but at any rate i did, i think it was the pot i smoked before hand. well it looked good, real good, this tattooed street rat with this smile that almost seems to disarm anything you might have in your head. i wont be smoking more pot b4 shoots but i will keep on smilin’!