Hazzard Ahead

Sunday, June 8th 2008

We Take It Back

Posted by Johnny

Once again my method of enjoying something by dreading it first paid off. The pride festival was thoroughly enjoyable Saturday because the crowd was pretty thin. And even though the beer was crap - it was only $5 so at least we didn’t feel robbed of cash as well as flavor.

Thank you to the many fans that stopped by to say hello and get a signed photo of me. I was especially pleased to see so many girls this year! Gay porn IS for everybody! And since Boy Wonder was there we got plenty of video for you to enjoy.

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Give it a minute. Then Full Screen It Baby!

Saturday, May 3rd 2008

Fuckin’ Hooters

Posted by Johnny

My recent trip to Las Vegas to help celebrate their pride event was surprisingly enjoyable thanks to the antics and companionship of Trevor Knight and Tommy Blade.

Don't Write On Me!

An abstract Tommy

Are We Done Yet?

An even more abstract Trevor Knight

We're Drawn This Way

Porn Star Cubed

Over My Dead And Rotting Corpse!

Tommy was lucky enough to have patrons write on him with markers all night

Get a load of the fantastic acrobat action at the end of this video.

Tuesday, June 19th 2007

Roman Pen

Posted by Boy Wonder

When I started working in porn it never occurred to me that I would have to come up with a porn name. My work isn’t that type of work so I just figured I would use my real name. It’s not like I’m running for office any time soon and it shouldn’t matter anyway. So yesterday Chris Steele was putting the credits together for a new movie and found no alias for me on the cast sheet. He called my office and asked me for my porn name as if he were double checking that I wanted extra mayo on my sandwich for lunch.

I take these things very seriously. The last thing I want is some lame moniker following me around forever. When I paused, Chris became slightly annoyed and told me I had five minutes to come up with a porn name. I did what any sensible person would do in a crisis situation like that - I dialed up an anagram generator site! You can’t trust those porn name generators for anything more than a drunken giggle. And when you work in my trade you develop a high tolerance for smut-oriented humor.

In a pinch I always find my work under pressure is nothing short of brilliant. In just a few minutes I had run enough letter combinations to come up with something humorous enough not to draw ridicule, but still cool enough to glisten with a little dignity and even conjure similar tones of my real name.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lord Jello Rod!

jeragogo

circa 2001

Lord Jello Rod

Last Week

Friday, May 18th 2007

May Sun

Posted by Boy Wonder

Last week I met Mason Wyler for the first time. I work as a photo assistant to the still photographer for our movies. It’s amusing because I’m the photo editor, which means I’m the guy that decides what coverage we need from a shoot and then I play the role of the photographer’s “boy” on set. It’s a nice change of pace from a typical day at the office.

Mason was the first model scheduled for stills so it was early in the morning and we had yet to decide exactly how we would light/dress the set. Naturally I was stunned by Mason’s good looks, but in my business delicious guys you want to lick lunch off of are about as rare as Mukluks in Nome. No, it wasn’t until well into the shoot that I realized this guy was more than just another alarmingly hot slab of meat.

Permit me to digress for a moment. I have probably mentioned on several occasions on this site that I detest the term “porn star” because it is so overly and incorrectly used. Johnny is a porn star and there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind about that. If you whip out your naughty on video that does not qualify you as a “star” in my opinion. And, frankly, my opinion matters. I see beautiful models, built models, models with incredible sexual energy and/or chemistry and any combination thereof. Johnny looks like a movie star, fucks like it’s the eve of the apocalypse and strategically cares for his body, which houses a golden heart and a thoughtful mind. That’s a star, baby! Now back to the story at hand.

As a porn consumer it isn’t easy to spot the guys that are packing attractive attributes off the scope of what’s visually appealing. After Mason dazzled me with his humor, dorky demeanor and surprisingly good repertoire of UK accents on the set I found my interest piqued. And let me tell you, sister - that doesn’t happen all that much these days.

In the afternoon we went out for coffee. I wasn’t interested in a warm beverage, I just wanted to spend some time with him. There, I said it! On the drive he explained to me that he wasn’t really into “the hip” and preferred older music and classic movies. I suppose this was somewhat inspired by the CD I was playing at the time. He said he really wanted to explore more great films from the not-so-distant past as well as sure-fire classics and it was all I could do to keep from pulling the car over and saying, “Move in with me. You’ll never have another dull moment!” If restraint was an Olympic event, I would be a gold medalist. He must have thought it odd that I drove his ass five miles for coffee and didn’t even order anything for myself…

You may be wondering why I’ve bothered to bring all of this up and you’ll be happy to know I’m about to explain. In a period of my life when my priorities are sadly out of whack and I feel particularly bad about myself, having a very fictional crush on someone out of reach does a great deal to realign my focus. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but in the week that has passed since that shoot I’ve found myself thinking about “me” more and how I’ve been in an abusive relationship with myself for months. There isn’t a whole lot I can do about my current situation, though acknowledging my toxic “lifestyle” is certainly a step above trying to make my hamster wheel turn faster. (Didn’t think I could work that in didja, Johnny?)

If you were a fan of Mason Wyler before, I’m here to tell you that your fantasies are more than justified. If you have no idea who the hell he is then read his Wikipedia page. You’ll be impressed. He brought a pleasant ray of sunshine into an otherwise dismal May for me and I’m certain he can do the same for you - even from a distance.

Mason gives me a grin

Mason is distracted by what I’m sure was something entirely revolting and inappropriate that came out of my mouth.

Tuesday, April 17th 2007

You’d Better Work, Bitch!

Posted by Johnny

Last week I had two scenes, two sets of stills and a photo shoot with Greg Thompson for a French magazine. PREF is an oversize, high gloss, fashion-esque magazine that I was very excited to be a part of. It was going to be a long couple of days in front of the camera doing everything from the gritty to the gorgeous.

My first scene was with Tyler Saint, a blond, blue-eyed newbie from LA and good ol’ Tyler Riggz at a resort here in Palm Springs. As I walked through the gate to the set I noticed that we were not alone. There were guests sprawled all around looking like they were waiting for the fireworks display at a fourth of July picnic. I was not in the mood for an audience. I voiced my concern to Boss Lady who promptly told me that they would remain behind the scenes out of sight or pay the $100 to view the festivities, just kidding. I mean, about the cash, Chi Chi of course said that to me in her classic snap.

Being with Mr. Riggz again (our last romp awarded us with Best Sex Scene at the 2006 GAYVNs) was a very comforting experience; it was like being with your brother - kind of. The newbie Tyler was also cool, calm and collected. We breezed through that scene and were home in what I think was record time. I can’t tell anymore, all I know is that I didn’t have to tap my foot at all during the shoot and that is a good thing.

Getting home before sunset allowed me just enough time to grab a can of tuna from my cupboards before I had to meet Greg at the Century Resort for the first portion of our shoot. I raced over there eating my tuna in the truck; it was better to keep going than to stop and allow the foe of fatigue to find me.

Greg wanted to do something truly representative of PS. A mid-century resort of the appropriate architecture with a mountain backdrop was perfect. Unfortunately we lost our sun by this time and had to settle for the lobby. The good thing about that was it allowed us to work with Greg’s signature lighting talents. This man bought the rights to “Let there be Light.” When Greg began to rub his face in an unnerving wiping motion from head to chin in tiny fits, it was clear. We were done there. The owner was kind enough to give us a room to store our costumes and equipment, allowing us to crawl directly to bed.

Although fresh as cucumber water I remained a bit delirious, and still in full makeup from the night before, as I got into my Andrew Christian skivvies. I think the pictures came out pretty good; I did not stay to find out, I had a call time of 2 PM for a scene and still needed to scrape the bronze make up from my body and get to the gym for a pre-scene pump.

This scene was with our newest edition, Blake Riley from Texas. Adorable with big browns and an ass that makes you thank God and request a copy of the mold. Again it was a record time performance, 2.5 hours from make-up chair to shower. OK?

with Blake Riley

For every movie we are required to do a set of stills. Since I had two movies - I had two sets of stills. Greg and I have this down to a silent science. I was done in 2hrs; we were on a roll. There. I was finally done. I don’t think that I have ever done so much in the way of posing and performing in such a short period of time. Not only did I have to turn on the Johnny Jam twice, two days in a row, but I had to turn it around and be the high-class glossy fashion model in a matter of seconds. Moments after I came, when all I usually want to do is eat chocolate, I had to get in full bronze body make up and work it Linda style.

Tune in soon for tales of my weekend with Chi Chi in her hometown. Now I sleep.