Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Thursday, March 30th 2006

Urine? What About Mayan?

Posted by Johnny

This morning I woke up excited as hell. I was about to embark on an exciting weekend. I will be stopping in LA for the evening before getting a flight to Phoenix for the Pride Celebration. When I return I will be going on my longest solo road trip to date. On Monday morning I am leaving at the crack of dawn to drive to San Fransisco. One of my best buddies lives there and seeing him is always very centering. He’s remained the same through everything and that is very special to me.

It just so happens, that François is staying there until he returns to Paris. It will be nice to see them both for (obviously) different reasons. I must say I am most excited for the drive. Me, Milo and I5. Good tunes, sunshine (hopefully) and some good catch-up conversations with people back home. Quality time spent with one of my favorite persons. Me. I love being by myself. Granted, sometimes I like to have the energy of somebody else around, but for the most part I enjoy being with me.

Before I left for LA this morning I stopped and got an iced coffee for the journey. I also asked for an extra plastic cup. The only good thing about traffic jams on the 10 is they afford you a chance to pee. I have mastered the skill of peeing while crawling along in traffic. The only thing that took a while was learning to accelerate while trying to contract my bladder to stop the flow because the plastic cup was filled. The idea of stopping the stream coupled with a desire to go faster proved to be a huge mind fuck and resulted in a few damp shorts in the beginning, but now, flawless. I had to go twice on the way down. The second time was at about 70 mph and almost ended in much more than a moist spot. Don’t worry – it wasn’t like car crash bad, just spilling about 24 oz of neon urine all over the driver side bad.

I have 2.5 hrs to kill before I meet my PR guy Rob to have dinner with him. I’m staying at his place tonight so we can catch an early flight together tomorrow. Boy Wonder will be here in 30 mins to help me pass the time. I keep thinking about my kitchen. Probably the most rewarding part of a job like this is being able to come back to it after spending some time away and really see my accomplishment in all of its glory! I look forward to seeing it when it’s really done!



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