Friday, June 13th 2008

Hiya Johnny & Boy Wonder :) … thx for the great welcome

Let’s see … I was raised in a smallish city about 1 hr west of Toronto. Luckily it’s a university city, so there was a well established gay students group on campus when I came out — mind you I was 14 at the time, so I imagine some of the welcoming attitude had more to do with my age than anything else (chicken hawks were much more open in the early 80’s). Back then, we didn’t have any gay bars outside of T.O., but the university pubs were very welcoming places, that had all-ages hours after liquor had stopped being served. The rest of the city was pretty standard. You had to speak the language that Sen. Craig made popular in order to get any action — parks, tearooms, adult bookstores, alleys. My teen years were very educational

In ‘86, shortly after I graduated HS, I moved to Vancouver and found a completely different attitude from both T.O. and the city I grew up in. The adage that the west coast is more laid back is true north of the 49th too. Living there was my first time in a ‘ghetto’, but this one was intermixed with well-off seniors, students, single mothers, street people … a true quilt of mid-80’s society. As this was also the beginning of the HIV / AIDS crisis, there was also an increase in the number of hate-crimes perpetrated by homeboys from the suburbs — I don’t think that mentality will ever change as that general gene pool just keeps getting shallower and more murky.

For the past 10 years, I’ve been on the opposite coast in Fredericton, NB. Oddly enough, the population is about what my hometown was when I was growing up and it’s also a university town. Although I’m technically in the capital, it’s in the same sense that Albany, NY is — lots of gov’t employees and visitors from the rest of the province, but not much else. Even so, there’s always been at least one gay bar for the past 15 years, lots of gay owned / operated businesses, very few gay-focused hate crimes (which are prosecuted swiftly and fully), openly gay ppl in the city, ‘burbs and outlying towns / villages, and no problem cruising someone in public in broad daylight. My partner and I are accepted everywhere we go; we both tend to have a very low tolerance for stupidity and ignorance, so ppl soon learn not to exhibit either when we’re around.

The only thing that has continued as a thorn in the side of ‘gay life’ is the ongoing and completely useless divide between radical lesbians and gay men. Each set of radicals sees the other as incapable of ‘understanding’ based solely on the equipment between their respective legs. All in all, I’d say that although progress has been slow, we have moved ahead in leaps and bounds throughout the past few decades. Just think, up here, we can now marry (and divorce) right along with everyone else. Mind you, now there’ll be a lot more style involved in either proceeding

Hey Johnny…

I’m a 20 something guy from a suburb of Nashville, TN. And, as you most likely know, we’re unfortunately a red state. Well… we’re really purple… but for the last election, we were red.

Anyway, I watch those movies too… but instead of thinking, “wow, has the world really come around?”, I think, “Wow, what a crock of shit they’re feeding us!” It’s almost as bad as what movies lead you to believe how love really works and such. Or hell… if someone learned how to have sex by watching porn! LOL!

Seriously though, it’s an inflated view.
Yes, there is a “gay” area of Nashville… we have a few clubs, a bookstore, a clothing store, and a restaurant all in one little area. But it’s less than a city block. Go outside that area and you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone “being themselves.” It’s sad, really. Hell, I don’t know that anyone actually “is themselves” in that small block, unless they’re inside the comfort of closed doors.

A story made headlines across the nation about a local gay guy who owns a farm having his property repeatedly vandalized… having things like “Die faggot!” written on the side of this house!

All this, yet our pride festival grows larger each year. But where are we the rest of the year? Do we pack away our testicles each year for safe-keeping until the next years pride festival? Is it that we don’t have thousands of others backing us up in the “off-season?”

I try to be who I am all of the time, unless of course I feel physically threatened.

So, as much as I’d love to say that we’ve made progress… it’s very slow going. Baby steps. But I have faith that we’ll get there one day… even if we do have to move out of state! LOL

Lots of love!
Ankh in TN

Hello Johnny and Jerrod,

It has been quite sometime since I have posted on your site. Unfortunately, little has changed here in Northeast Tennessee. It still remains a place where public displays of affection between members of the same gender would likely be met with verbal hostility at the very least. However, the area in which I reside is becoming an increasingly popular relocation destination. It is also beginning to attract second and third homebuyers. Hopefully, the arrival of more enlightened individuals will begin to chip away at the widespread anti-gay sentiment that reigns supreme around these parts.

On another note, my community may remain the same but I have changed. A little voice inside of me has said enough is enough. Consequently, I have no plans of being anyone’s victim. I have become both outspoken and confrontational in my efforts to defend gay interests. I am no longer a coward and I will fight in the literal and figurative sense against anyone attempting to railroad me or stand in the way of my rights.

YAY! Lost In Tennesse and Found Again! Welcome back, Robert. I’ve missed your posts.

Junkie hookeers… OK. Robert, I don’t know what you’ve been up to since you went off and learned about the birds and bees, but you really need to fill in the blanks here. Gory details and all.

Hey Johnny-
I grew up on Martha’s Vineyard, in Massachusetts. I moved away from the Island when I was in my early 20’s because it was so unacceptable to be who I was. Not that I was open- but people seemed to know. Guys would chase me to beat me up when they were in a group, but some of the same guys would try to find me for head when they were alone- go figure. I moved to Manhattan, then Boston, then Weho- I lived behind the French Market on Laurel Ave. I learned a lot, and grew a lot while I was gone. Then I found out my mom was sick, and rushed home. She passed 9 months later, but I stayed. When I came back, I decided to be completely open about my sexuality. I’m a bartender, and there are only straight bars here. At first it was tough, but by just being myself I have all these carpenters, painters, plumbers- your basic straight guys- fully accepting of me. They even flirt and make sexual innuendo jokes with me- who’d've thunk. I don’t think anyone was more surprised than them to find that they liked me. I still don’t have much luck getting laid here- have to head to Ptown or Boston for boys- but it’s definitely better.
Flip

BTW… Big Eden is one of my all-time favorite movies. Don’t you wish we could all live there?

Yes Rita, its true. Hazzard Ahead’s redheaded stepchild has returned. On another note, your kind words are certainly appreciated.

Frog, you will have to wait for my interview with Barbara Walters. If she squeezes my nuts hard enough it will be a no holds bar tell all.

I suppose I should return my attention to the subject at hand. I personally find it deplorable that Hazzard Ahead commentators have been subjected to violence on the basis of their sexual orientation. However, hate crimes are not limited to America’s countryside. For instance, actor Trev Broudy was severely beaten in the heart of West Hollywood after hugging a male companion. Such incidents suggest that gay men and lesbians would be well served by taking a self-defense course.

Sorry to burst your bubble Frog, I am actually a brunette. However, if you still want to break out the rubber bands, clothespins, and candle wax I am game.