Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Tuesday, February 6th 2007

For Sympathy, Press 4

Posted by Johnny

The sleepy town I call home during the winter has gone through some changes in the time I’ve been gone. The video store that was run by the Lowells is now vacant with a “For Lease” sign in the front window that reads more like “Closed For Lack Of Interest”.

There used to be a small independent grocer by the name of Diane that dealt with the local farmers in the desert and surrounding areas. Everything was home grown and the only way to get this honest produce was to fill out an order form. She had broccoli, heirloom tomatoes, various kinds of apples and pears, beans and asparagus just to name a few. It felt really good to support local farming and to be part of such a healthy and beneficial interaction that you rarely see anymore.

As I drove into town I thought of how much fun I had preparing my meals around the seasonal produce. The stews I used to make. The elaborate omelets I would whip up so I could use what was left in the fridge to make room for what I would pick up that afternoon with all the other flip-flop wearing desert rats. However, as I drove by I caught glimpse of the store and saw the dreaded sign. This one read “Squeezed Out by Corporate Fucks!”…well not those words exactly, but close enough. Damn it!

Needless to say I was very disappointed by these discoveries. I mean, the list of reasons I like living in Palm Springs isn’t all that long to begin with. It wasn’t a very good time for a really annoying experience with an uncaring corporation. Enter Bank of America.

Whenever I have any interaction at all with Bank of America it usually ends with me fantasizing about removing all of my money from their greedy hands, packing it into Mason jars and burying them under palm trees. Not only do they have control of my money, they took over my credit card companies so it’s like there’s no escape. They have me at their incompetent mercy, but that lack of control I experience is admittedly offset by the extreme convenience of their normal operations. And I don’t really have that many Mason jars.

Last week I lost my ATM card; complete financial paralysis, right? It seemed like a visit to a local branch would be the best way to fix this. At the branch I was instructed to pick up a small white phone and press 1. Why did I bother coming to the branch if no one would help me? After a couple of minutes speaking with someone who sounded like he was all of 15 years old, I allegedly had my ATM card re-issued and left feeling some accomplishment and relief that my account had not been emptied.

This morning I called to check on the status of my card. I have learned from years of experience that thinking everything is taken care of will only lead to disappointment. I called my customer service (don’t even get me started on that phrase) number; the same one I’ve called for all of the nightmare problems I’ve had with them in the past. Sure enough, my ATM card had not been reissued and I had to sit on hold for three minutes grinding my teeth before they could find evidence that I reported it lost a week prior. I was livid and there was nothing they could say to make me feel anything less – especially not another one of their empty “I’m SO sorry!” statements.

It isn’t just the banks or the utility companies. More and more I find that my human interaction is being replaced by something more cost efficient. It isn’t an upgrade in any sense. Our population is booming out of control and yet companies are employing fewer people each year. While the companies protect their profit margins, we get crap service and have to visit megastores to get broccoli that was grown in Nova Scotia and have our movie rentals shipped to us from a distribution center in Kentucky. Personally, I’d rather support my local economy, get superior merchandise and have a nice chat with my favorite video store guy about new releases.



7 Comments for this post

 
Lost in Tennessee Says:

Johnny, you could try circulating a petition to get formula businesses banned from your community. Such petitions don’t actually ban formula business but rather set up parameters businesses must follow in order to set up shop. Parameters can exclude national retailers whom utilize common architectural features, menus, and uniforms among other things. This effectively squeezes out the overwhelming majority of national retailers because they have no interest in deviating from their trademarks. This process is also Constitutional since a formula business can still come into a particular area if they are willing to create a unique operation.

After collecting enough signatures you could approach city hall and your local zoning department. Hopefully, you (and your petition) can convince the authority figures that eliminating formula retailers from the community fabric can preserve the unique characteristics of Palm Springs. After all, the efforts of only a few Sausalito residents resulted in the exclusion of most national chains with this charming seaside locale. I do not see why Palm Springs could not follow suit.

 
pillboy Says:

Hey Johnny, I have been reading your blog for a couple months now, generally I don’t post to sites as a rule, but two of your subjects in your last entry I can relate to. In regards to Bank of America I don’t know your current money situation IE, how much of it they hold but I would recommend doing some research and finding a better institution to put your money in. Personally they’ve taken quite a bit of money from me under the guise of spontaneous minimum balance or specific service requirement penalties. This and some disturbing news reports on how they’ve turned innocent people in to the authorities because their names matched wanted criminals pretty much sealed the decision. For me at least.

On another note your appreciation for fresh produce as opposed to the kind usually found in common big chain supermarket, has gotten me to think about all the road trips my family did when I was younger. On route to visiting relatives and passing miles upon miles of corn fields we would stop at the occasional farm stand for a snack or to pick up something extra to bring to grandmas or alternatively on our way home really got me to reminisce.

Just thought I’d share.

 
Genor Says:

Johnny, you rock my world! I love you man! I can always relate to your writings. I HATE corporate America and all the big box store bullshit. Everyone, support your local businessmen and women! I just got my new small town bank ATM Debit card and I’m very thankful for the small town banks. There’s a Bank of America and others in town. It would be so easy to patronize them, but I, too, do not what to put up with the same bullshit you’ve experienced. I was so happy to bank at Santa Barbara Bank & Trust in SB while living there… another small town bank that gave terrific service! Love you man, and BW, and Frog and Lost and all you pals… you continue to be a bright spot in my otherwise blustery everyday life right now. Cheers!!!

 
Boy Wonder Says:

I’ll have what Genor’s having. :-P

 
the frog Says:

Me too. Provided it’s homegrown and independantly distributed.

 
Johnny Says:

Thanks for commenting Pillboy.
I have wanted for a little while now to switch banks but as time has gone on it has gotten very difficult; they have taken over my mortgage and both my credit cards. Not to mention that my entire site is tied in with BofA and there are numerous transactions done every month through my account. I have admitted defeat much like I did with my cell phone provider, Sprint…..NAZI FUX!!!….and there are larger things for me devote my energy to. I have accepted it as reality, I just like to vent now and then. I think it also provides people with a good feeling knowing that there are others with the same problem. I know I do.

 
p_paolo Says:

I look forward to buy from your own company led with your human touch and full understanding for the world… I don’t dare to make mine and support locals everywhere I travel, if I would banks would eat me up in a second, I’m far too naive…

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