Our dear friend, The Frog, was very gracious to take time out of his schedule to translate the article that appeared in this month’s “sex” issue of PREF magazine in France. In case you find yourself asking, “Is this a direct translation?” I have been assured that it is and I know that it must have been a challenge for The Frog to avoid editing. Enjoy and I sweetly anticipate your comments!

by Clarisse Mérigeot

From screen to song, the smooth bad boy goes “deeper into you”.

Is pornography an art? No doubt Catherine Breillat, whom in our last issue did we interview, would have her word to say. I can see from her pockets her hands flying, wind in her hair, and waving, waving… [Frog’s note: please don’t blame the translation. This is exactly how she wrote it and yes, it reads just as bizarre in French. As for those wondering, Catherine Breillat is the french director of “intellectual cinematographic reflections on sex” like ‘Anatomie de l’Enfer’ whom I defy anyone to sit through without throwing something at the screen, but that’s just me. BTW, the views and opinions expressed inside those brackets are mine only and not meant to represent the views and opinions of Hazzardahead.com, its webmaster, main subject or anyone affiliated with the oh-so-hot company - Frog]

Doing a profile on X-rated actor Johnny Hazzard is a bit like a game one soon gets a taste for. Since this is our “sex” issue, how could we not invite him? Should I expect endless fights to keep his phone number private? “The secret you keep is your slave, the one you reveal becomes your master” my mother taught me when I was a child.

“What do you think of our magazine, do you know it? What reputation does it have in the States?” “You know, I’m not really a big consumer of cultural goods: I don’t even own a TV!” “But PREF has the greatest reputation in American photography circles.”

In the U.S. version of Queer As Folk, Emmett who becomes a star of virtual masturbation, picks “Fetch Dixon” as a pseudonym. Gay pornography has its own codes: top, bottom… To each practice its superstitions, to each practice its lucky charms. I would have liked to share them with you here, but will Johnny Hazzard be up to it? The nickname comes from Chi Chi La Rue, a close and famous friend. “Hazzard, luck, bad luck… [He] has a list of things [he’d like] to do in his life and by joining the pornographic cause, [he] could mentally check one of them.” X-rated cinema is about mixing pleasure with business: why not have fun making a dollar or two?” “[He was] bound for the entertainment industry, anyway.”

“You know, this is the best interview I’ve ever had so far. To provide you with intelligent answers will take some time: I wish so much to give each of your questions the answer it deserves. You really used you head here… I can tell and I appreciate it.” Used my head, right… How to approach Johnny Hazzard? What to say and, on second thought, not do to him? “Being gay has no impact on my life. I consider homosexuality a minor part of my character. I never was a militant and, frankly, whenever I do charity it’s mostly on behalf of animal protection.”

Johnny Hazzard is of average height but Johnny Hazzard is of more than average beauty… His penis is as big as it looks, he’s “happy to confirm”; and he truly is American, not French, by Jove! You thought so when you first got in touch with him but where on earth did you get the idea? One should never believe a media lie: one should never believe the Internet.

The great thing about porn – aside from stirring up libidinous urges – is that men use it as a ruler for penisian holster. [I’m aware there is no such word as “penisian” in the English language, but then there is no such word as the original text’s “penien” in French either except maybe in Catherine Breillat’s diary - Frog.] When you analyze gay cinema, the upside of it is that women have nothing to do with it. Women, they piss us off with their demands and clamors. Far from questions of gender representation and its new and regular demands, [French feminist group] les Chiennes de Garde (”Watch Bitches”) shut up. “I get always asked the same questions and I’m really tired of that. I wish I could have a ready-made set of answers. I wish I could lie sometimes.” “Luckily, sometimes I get solicitations from a publication in your league!”

“J’attends l’amour” : “I’m waiting for love,” etc. As for his most beautiful and most painful love stories, Hazzard takes a chance at telling us the platitude of his life. “Porn stars tend to love other porn stars. Personally I believe that any relationship involving my job will never stand a chance to work out. I love anyone who is neither titillated nor intimidated, that’s my secret. As for those who say there’s nothing in the world like making love to a porn star, they must have a celebrity obsession bordering on the unhealthy! For when it comes to sex, a truck driver that you meet at a bus stop will stand a better chance to make you come your brains off.”

“To say that only men are into porn is total nonsense: I get many letters from lesbians and my blog overflows with straight women who are avid followers of my career. The X-rated entertainment industry is not that far from the mainstream one, after all: sex in itself isn’t enough to arouse you; you need scenery, atmosphere…” One will be hard pressed not to fall in the usual cliché of questions like “Why did you decide to become a porn star?” or “What childhood trauma is at the core of your lifestyle choice?” For it’s hard to imagine getting rammed through all orifices for the mere pleasure of earning money .

“To men, I’m like a challenge. It goes with the job.”

“Let me tell you something: you must learn to top before even pretending to be a good bottom.” “My sexuality off screen is the same than on screen… There’s nothing a muscled hairy-chested male with salt-and-pepper hair couldn’t make me try at least once. Not one position.” “I get hit on a lot, that’s part of the game: men, I’m like a challenge to each one of them. Trouble is most of them are not even aware how heavy-handed they can act sometimes. I try to deal with it by reminding myself it comes with the territory!”

Few are the actors who will take their mum on a set. Johnny Hazzard is one of them; he has luck and he has support… “My childhood made me who I am today: an eccentric and colored man. I’d probably still be waiting tables at my French bar in Boston, L’Aquitaine, if I hadn’t been discovered.” In any case, “protect yourself, at any cost.”: “I don’t need to see friends dropping like flies to think about protection.”

With time, the more lucrative activities are not enough for satisfaction. “Some time ago, my webmaster posted on You Tube a video of me dancing to a Sherrie Lea [sic] track penned by James Collin. James saw it and immediately offered me to sing one of his compositions!” After all it worked for [ex-pornstar and now singer] Clara Morgane, thanks to her new notoriety courtesy of priceless [talk show host] Cauet. Porn stars aren’t more stupid than others, they’re just worse at certain things they were not destined for… For in all honesty, the aforesaid track won’t make the most played songs of the Millennium. “Deeper Into You, [in French] “plus profond dans toi“, betrays here a less-than-evident and more-than-inappropriate subtlety [I don’t get it in French either so don’t ask - Fr.] and when you think about it, Clara Morgane may not have any voice but at least enough good sense to get proper advice. Too busy jumping everything that moves, and faced with such a novel opportunity, Hazzard may have lacked the necessary restraint. […but at least has enough good sense to get lyrics that don’t start with “O baby I’m sexee girl/O baby I’m nastee girl” or end with “Hin, hin what you wanna?” - Fr.] “People are usually surprised to see that I’m only a five foot six. I’m not the one they think I am.” Since Johnny Hazzard has opened up to us the gates of the kingdom that is his intimacy, let’s leave him a chance to express himself: why linger on the one stumble in his journey? He’s handsome, he delivers, he’s hot and he gives to animals: let us be charitable in turn.

On newsstands across Europe today and in better US cities very soon it’s lucky issue 21 of the French magazine PREF featuring yours truly in high-class, glossy print. We haven’t seen this yet, but there should be quite a spread for all the photos we submitted. If that wasn’t enough, François Sagat also appears in this issue. Funny how we keep popping up together…

Last weekend I participated in an event in Chicago known as IML, International Mr. Leather, a pageant of sorts for the leather community. It also happens to be the weekend that the Grabbys are held, an awards show for the gay adult film industry hosted by Gay Chicago Magazine.

For the first time I was honored to be one of the co-hosts this year along with Chi Chi LaRue, Honey West, Matthew Rush and the charming Kent North. Public speaking is not something that I do very often so I was very nervous for weeks right up until my first walk out on stage. I was lucky enough to have two very seasoned pros along side me guiding the stream of conversation at all times except for the two times that I was left to fend for myself with either Kent or Matt.

Upon arrival I found out that I was up for two and a half awards, Best Supporting Actor for Delinquents, Best Duo with Benjamin Bradley for our scene in Delinquents and Best Cock. I did not win any awards, but Doug Jeffries, the director of Delinquents walked away with three!

All things considered, I think I did pretty well as a host. As soon as we were introduced and brought out to the crowd we were left on stage for a bit to mingle together in front of the audience. There were three of us and only two microphones - both of which were been given to Matt and Kent by Honey and Chi Chi. I naturally assumed that because there were only two mikes that perhaps I had read something wrong and was not supposed to be up there, so I left. I began to walk off and I heard Matt say to Kent “Why did he leave?” so I returned to the front of the stage knowing that there had been some sort of error and pretended to speak into an imaginary microphone. The audience got the joke and I was relieved, but still without a microphone. This made the dialog between us somewhat difficult, luckily that was the only time that the three of us were on stage sharing the microphone.

As you may have guessed, I decided to make a shirt specifically for the event. Due to time restraints and plain old procrastination I had to put the finishing touches on the shirt at the hotel. Tyler Riggz called from upstairs when I was in the middle of studding my shirt with my Bedazzler. He asked me what I was doing and when he found out I had my Bedazzler he about creamed his pants. He makes jokes constantly about my tye-dyed wardrobe and things I make with my Bedazzler so to actually see the infamous machine was a treat. He asked me if there were more rhinestones and when I told him that there were 500, he was at my door dressed in a smile from ear to ear. This is what porn stars really do during their off time at gigs.

Last week I had two scenes, two sets of stills and a photo shoot with Greg Thompson for a French magazine. PREF is an oversize, high gloss, fashion-esque magazine that I was very excited to be a part of. It was going to be a long couple of days in front of the camera doing everything from the gritty to the gorgeous.

My first scene was with Tyler Saint, a blond, blue-eyed newbie from LA and good ol’ Tyler Riggz at a resort here in Palm Springs. As I walked through the gate to the set I noticed that we were not alone. There were guests sprawled all around looking like they were waiting for the fireworks display at a fourth of July picnic. I was not in the mood for an audience. I voiced my concern to Boss Lady who promptly told me that they would remain behind the scenes out of sight or pay the $100 to view the festivities, just kidding. I mean, about the cash, Chi Chi of course said that to me in her classic snap.

Being with Mr. Riggz again (our last romp awarded us with Best Sex Scene at the 2006 GAYVNs) was a very comforting experience; it was like being with your brother - kind of. The newbie Tyler was also cool, calm and collected. We breezed through that scene and were home in what I think was record time. I can’t tell anymore, all I know is that I didn’t have to tap my foot at all during the shoot and that is a good thing.

Getting home before sunset allowed me just enough time to grab a can of tuna from my cupboards before I had to meet Greg at the Century Resort for the first portion of our shoot. I raced over there eating my tuna in the truck; it was better to keep going than to stop and allow the foe of fatigue to find me.

Greg wanted to do something truly representative of PS. A mid-century resort of the appropriate architecture with a mountain backdrop was perfect. Unfortunately we lost our sun by this time and had to settle for the lobby. The good thing about that was it allowed us to work with Greg’s signature lighting talents. This man bought the rights to “Let there be Light.” When Greg began to rub his face in an unnerving wiping motion from head to chin in tiny fits, it was clear. We were done there. The owner was kind enough to give us a room to store our costumes and equipment, allowing us to crawl directly to bed.

Although fresh as cucumber water I remained a bit delirious, and still in full makeup from the night before, as I got into my Andrew Christian skivvies. I think the pictures came out pretty good; I did not stay to find out, I had a call time of 2 PM for a scene and still needed to scrape the bronze make up from my body and get to the gym for a pre-scene pump.

This scene was with our newest edition, Blake Riley from Texas. Adorable with big browns and an ass that makes you thank God and request a copy of the mold. Again it was a record time performance, 2.5 hours from make-up chair to shower. OK?

For every movie we are required to do a set of stills. Since I had two movies - I had two sets of stills. Greg and I have this down to a silent science. I was done in 2hrs; we were on a roll. There. I was finally done. I don’t think that I have ever done so much in the way of posing and performing in such a short period of time. Not only did I have to turn on the Johnny Jam twice, two days in a row, but I had to turn it around and be the high-class glossy fashion model in a matter of seconds. Moments after I came, when all I usually want to do is eat chocolate, I had to get in full bronze body make up and work it Linda style.

Tune in soon for tales of my weekend with Chi Chi in her hometown. Now I sleep.

For weeks I had been looking forward to visiting beautiful San Diego for an advertising shoot with Rufskin Denim. I have long admired their clothes and was very excited to be a part of the good work they do.

My good friend Mike let me stay with him. It was so nice to see him again. It had been just about a year since he was sharing my tiny space with me in Palm Springs. Now I was sharing his tiny space - it was so small that there was not even enough room for the internet. That’s not true, it was more about money than space, but I was without the web. After the initial shock I was happy to be relieved of it and the responsibility it carries.

The weather was sublime and my shoot/appearance was so much fun. I am so digging these Rufskin guys. Their style is comfort meets sexy meets Rockabilly cowboy from the city. Just my bag. The shoot took place in a backyard that sang with trees, shrubbery and wind chimes. Two cats meandered around the set taking notice of the commotion sometimes with lizards in their mouths. The supplies were simple: a man behind the camera who happened to be one of the owners, a camera on a tripod, a small reflector and the other partner in his business and his life. They were impressed with the ease and flow of my interaction with the camera and I was impressed with their effective styling and kick ass camera. The pix came out sooooo great. The first two are of me in some of my stuff. I know, I know. It’s coming, it’s coming.

Later that night it was time to turn it out at Bacchus House. These things are cool and fun. Mike showed up with Tyler Riggz with his bf Reed, the guys from Rufskin and some local friends made it a fun night of free drinks, laughing and me dancing in a shower on the dance floor. People remarked to me how fun I was and actually used the word “ham” to describe me. They also commented on how different the guy was on stage compared to what they had expected. I can never hear that enough.

In the end I realized that I like San Diego. I like it a lot!

Tyler and Reed

Lumberjack Mike

Hubert, co-owner and creator of Rufskin

In the tub