Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Wednesday, March 28th 2007

Looking Back To Find My Way Forward

Posted by Johnny

Soon after San Diego it was time to board a plane to Boston on a 6am flight out of Palm Springs (PS). My dear friend Saya’s sister was turning 40 and her family decided to throw a surprise party for her. I love her family and was touched that they invited me to come out and share the occasion with them.

The party was orchestrated wonderfully. To set the stage her mother mentioned to Saya’s sister that on Saturday they would have a small get together with friends and family at the nearby home of a family friend. This annoyed her as she was expecting a bit more for her 40th. It was a great way to set her up for what would turn out to be a great surprise.

Surprise!

We arrived at the house in New Hampshire after a morning of constructing about 120 spring rolls in Saya’s kitchen in Boston. Saya left me there to fetch Seana, her sister, and was going to text me when they were near so we would know when to hide. We all crammed ourselves in the bedroom and bathroom and waited for the signal from Saya’s mom. As soon as we got the OK we marched out in a single file line to greet the flabber-gasted guest of honor. At the sight of every new person emerging from the back room her “Oh my God’s” grew louder and her level of surprise intensified to the point where I thought she might pass out. There were friends dating back from kindergarten all the way up through her college years. Some of her newest friends were also asked to join the surprise group and share the evening. The food was great, the wine was great and her family was amazing. Thank god they ate those blasted spring rolls; there were so many of them!

I had the best time hanging back and watching the dynamics of somebody else’s family unfold and play out in front of me; it was a front row seat to a family movie with no obligation for interaction required.

Her family unit is certainly one to behold, they are kind, funny and intellectual without being stuffy and they love each other very much. They all live or have lived in this small town of Peterborough and hearing them talk about their family and the locals is so warm and sweet.

The next morning they had a brunch for the birthday girl. This was a great idea since there were so many people at the event the night before it was nearly impossible for Seana to really interact with everybody. That aside, there were many people from out of state so having a second, more intimate, get-together was ideal.

I arrived in Boston on Friday evening and by Sunday morning I was shot from jet lag, a drastic temperature change (can you say three inches of snow?) and an evening of indulgence (mostly cake) I could barely keep my eyes open as she opened her gifts Sunday morning. It wasn’t long before Saya shared in my exhaustion and became time to wrap it up and return to the mad city.

Being here in Boston has been very bitter sweet. This is the first time I have come as a visitor in many years. Walking around the South End made me just a little sad. There was a time not long ago when I lived a quiet life with no responsibility to a mortgage or a car payment and was never required to think about anything further from the day at hand. I woke up, walked two blocks to the gym, came home and walked across the street to work at Aquitaine. Life was simpler then and I that is something I miss.

I also miss the interaction and social buzz that living in a city brings. Nobody walks in PS, and there is certainly no sort of social interaction brought on by trips on the subway and walks around the block to the coffee shop or nearest cafe in a pedestrian city. I am a people person and even though I enjoy solitude very much, having the option of being involved with masses if I so choose is very important to me. That is something I completely miss out on by living in PS.

Having had the opportunity to be around a family tied strongly together with strings of love and bonds so deep that their adoration echoed made me miss mine, very much.

I suppose that is good. I have a family much like Saya’s and I am fortunate to have my dearest friends share with me the blessing of family. While I am actively involved with my family from a distance, I am beginning to think something must be done about my day-to-day life. For some things there are no substitutions.

Surprise!

Saya, Sarah and Seana



32 Comments for this post

 
p_paolo Says:

It is touching to read your wise words springing directly out from your good heart, and surprising how similar we all can be. In moments of such longing after an interacting and warm neighborhood like in the city or the sweet family reunions or simply the past years of happy emptiness one thing you can remember. Nothing is for ever both in good and bad and that now it is you the Captain of your life and you steer it where you most need to.

I also have the impression that you have a lot of people around you who love you very very much, well above the average…

Thank you again for sharing with us your precious thoughts!

 
Johnny Says:

It is my pleasure.

 
the frog Says:

Reading about the surprise party, I could almost feel the warmth of it – along with, for personal reasons, a certain melancholia. That’s how good your writing is. No matter what happens to your other careers, Johnny, do keep on developing that talent.

BTW, the three “S” Sisters are so cute. If Chekov had seen them, he would have written a musical.

 
Johnny Says:

Well thank you. I must say that in the last year or so I have had some great lessons and tips on the art and skill of writing. I am happy to see that it is paying off. Thanks bud.
S3 are some great ladies. Ill tell em so for ya

 
Genor Says:

I too loved reading of your adventure back to the east coast. Good friends and family are jewels in our lives. You seem to have some beautiful ones.

I loved the Chekov comment Frog. You, too, are a gived communicator. So creative. Write me a poem. LOL.

Johnny, how hot is it in PS? It was like 85 in the midsouth today. I can only imagine it’s getting very warm there now.

Cheers fellas!

 
p_paolo Says:

Then make it a book also, Johnny! …and the saying “never judge a book by its cover” would be wrong, if you are on the cover.

 
Johnny Says:

A book huh? Well I have been writing for a magazine down under called “Guys Like”, so perhaps after I get a couple of stories under my belt we can make into a book of sorts. I have this little fantasy of being like Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex and the City” of course with a smaller budget and a dick.

 
p_paolo Says:

I guess you will make it better, bigger and shorter, hopefully more moneymaker and less everlasting, for “Sex and the City” will be soon showing late 30’s wrinkles and early 40’s plastic surgeries…

I sympathize your little fantasy after all.

 
p_paolo Says:

sorry, one more thing: if you do, like “Sex in the City” please don’t let anyone dub you in Italian! :)

 
Boy Wonder Says:

Paolo – If things go my way, Johnny will be speaking Italian before the year is out. I have been meaning to ask you if Ab Fab is dubbed in Italy. That would just be wrong! I used to watch Benny Hill in Italian and the comedy was ruined.

 
the frog Says:

Johnny, I’m not even sure you meant that for me but I’ll answer nonetheless with a quote from Robert Patrick’s play “One Of Those People”: “If the way you wove that compliment into your autobiography was characteristic, you have graduated cum laude.”

 
the frog Says:

Genor you want me to do what,
pull a poem out of my hat?
I will if you stroke my ego
or that thing half big down below

You say you ‘absoultely’ love me
Now’s your chance to prove it, baby
Ditch the midsouth and come to France
I’ll make you laugh, you’ll make me dance
We’ll spend the days f…, err, fishing
and give Brokeback a new ending.

By the fire we’ll lie on a rug
sipping in turns from the same mug
just you and me and a canine
three’s no crowd nor is sixty-nine
drinking Peaches Jaggermeister
like Snoopy, Lucy and Schroeder
we’ll give thanks to Hazzard Ahead
while sharing minds and giving head
Even Chi Chi would be upset
to see how we use a baguette

Johnny will sing at our wedding
and take care of the catering
after designing your white dress:
a size 2 will your butt compress
(Bachelor parties we won’t mention
though he was the main attraction
That guy sure is an ‘all-in-one’
for planning weddings and for fun
A triple X Renaissance Man
Easy to love but hard to find.)

Ma Hazzard will be there to bless
Our new found love and happiness
Best man can be Rita’s husband
He’s good with rings, I understand
Robert will make a speech so smart
we’ll be lost in T. from the start
Boy Wonder will cry at “I do”
So will Lassie and Scooby-Doo.

We’ll get away in Ma H’s truck
which, if that’s not pushing our luck
won’t have “Just Married” written on
But “Movin’2Light from now on.”

 
Boy Wonder Says:

WE HAVE A WINNER! Frog, you are the man!

 
p_paolo Says:

Boy Wonder – very unfortunately Ab Fab never showed up in Italy, so very few gays know about it… Lost in Italy just as in Tennessee as you see…

I’m looking forward to hear J’s first Italian words!

 
Boy Wonder Says:

Paolo – You won’t have to wait very long…

 
Johnny Says:

Frog, U R DA MAN……that was amazing!
Thanks for the smile

 
Genor Says:

My little French Frog
you’ve fetched my heart with your piece.
Meet me on the Cote d’Azur
we’ll wed on the rocks east of Cannes.
Naked we’ll be in the warmth of the sun
I can imagine the kiss oh the kiss oh the kiss
the day the Frog turns into my Prince.

 
Rita PHL Says:

Dearest Frog: Jim and I are deeply flattered to be mentioned in your love poem!

And, Johnny, concerning your desire to live in a neighborhood city … Philadelphia’s Bella Vista / Queen Village will welcome you with open arms! Everybody walks in my neighborhood!

 
the frog Says:

Thank you Johnny, Thank you Boy
Wonder how can I remain cool
when you are all so kind to this fool
Who can’t think of a rhyme except: “Oy!”

Say the word, Genor, and I’ll hop
On a plane from Paris to the Cote
Disappoint I know you will not
With your kiss oh your kiss full of hope

I’ll fetch your piece with all my heart
On the highest rock of the place
When I’m your Prince you’ll be my Grace
(Though we can always switch the parts)

And should I ever drop the soap
During our own bridal shower
I shall quote the great Cole Porter:
“If I’m a bottom, you’re the top!”

 
the frog Says:

Rita, please kiss Jim’s Prince Albert for me. You never know, it might turn into another frog :-)

 
Rita PHL Says:

Frog, oh my goodness, you actually made me blush!

 
the frog Says:

Shouldn’t that be Johnny’s job? ;-)

 
the frog Says:

(the blushing business I mean, not the other stuff… though some of us might want to see that too.)

 
Genor Says:

Johnny… and others that would like to contribute. I’ve been put in charge of creating a cocktail for a new restaurant in town. It will be served in a martini glass. It needs to be layered, having the colors Purple (on bottom) and yellow/gold (on top), or visa versa. The drink will be called the “Moon River”. Any suggestions?

Also need a really explosive fruity cocktail, served in a bowl or other large glass. Something that really packs a punch, but not your typical Hawaiian Punchbowl drink. It’s gonna be called the “Ugly Betty!” Ideas?

I’d also like to see what you think of the wine list!

 
Joej888 Says:

Johnny,Thanks for the touching words,I am deeply touched!For I don’t have too many friends around,my family is not as kind as the one you write about,the only family member that I love is my grandma and she is very old,I am so jealous.Oh,I’m so pathetic I think.How lucky you are!

On my 18th birthday which is 5 days ago ,nobody gave me any surprise.The only birthday gift I got was a little seed from one of my classmates !I stayed at the school for the whole day.My father even didn’t realized that day was my birthday!It was my step mother that realized that it was my birthday.All the day I was in a school uniform,it was my 18th birthday!No new clothe!No blessing!Nobody care!How pathetic I am!

Aftering reading your words,I can feel the sweet feeling that Saya’s sister feels.I feel better now.Thank you.

 
Genor Says:

JoeJ… my heart goes out to you. Please know that you don’t have to be defined by the way others treat you… or don’t treat you on those special days of your life, or any day for that matter. You are not what others say you are. You ARE a very special, unique individual and it appears obvious to me that you are a sensitive, compationate and loving guy. I hope you will consider this message a belated birthday gift wrapped with all the love and blessing you need for this day, this year. You have a world of friends out here that do care. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off my friend… you have your youth and that is HUGE.

 
Angel Benton Says:

OK first of all I obviously need to comment a hell of a lot more because I didn’t make it into the Frog’s poem. ;-(

Secondly, in regards to Genor, maybe Chambord on the bottom and Goldschlager on the top?

Lastly, Johnny, Palm Springs is definitely more, ahem, “sleepy” than Boston, but it has it’s charms. For example, on Sunday I walked from the T-Dance all the way back to the Desert Moon Resort holding hands with a cute boi and enjoying the balmy weather and gorgeous desert scenery, mountains, and stars. It was the most lovely evening I have had in recent history. Anyway, it was great seeing you and BW at White Party and I am glad you are feeling better! Hope to see you soon.

 
the frog Says:

I swear I’ll stop after this one, but like Genor, Joe’s post really went to my heart.
(Since Genor and I are officially one, I guess it makes sense :-)

Anyway – Joe, this is for you: another belated birthday present.

Little Joe never gave away
that he was so sad and hurting
for so few remembered the day
when he finally turned eighteen

A pack of seeds was his present
He planted them, feeling so blue
And his tears watered a strange plant
that grew for him like Audrey 2

So fragile and so delicate
a flower bizarre, yet unique
looking lonely without a mate
but its perfume was strong and thick

And the scent drew a bird to it
And the bird sang to little Joe
A silent song but he heard it
in his heart heavy with sorrow

This is what the bird sang to him:
“These words I hope you’ll remember:
When they hurt you, keep on breathing
What can’t kill you makes you stronger”

“Cry if you must, it’s ok, hon’
You may think that you’ll never fit
Just know you’re not the only one
and love yourself: you are worth it.”

The bird took him under his wing
And they both took off for a flight
For the first time Joe saw the world
up from above and it looked bright

Full of hazzards yet beckoning
with hidden treasures to be found
like a playground waiting for him
and soon they were touching the ground

“This open road is yours to take”
said the bird as he flew away
Joe started walking, wide awake
and the bird called: “Happy Birthday!”

 
mate_27 Says:

hey, just stumbled over this blog here! – LOVE IT!
Love the stories, love the naturalness, love the humor and of course the man this is all about here!

…as far as love can grow within minutes over distance! ;-) cheers to all of u

greetz from germany

 
Johnny Says:

We’re glad to have you mate!

 
Joej888 Says:

Oh my ~ I don’t know what to say now. Thank you Genor and thank you Frog. I really appreciate these two presents. So sweet! I think These are better than anything that I’ve ever got in my heart! Thank you! This is really a surprise! I feel so much better now, thank you! You guys are so nice.

 
the frog Says:

My pleasure, Joe ;-) Take care, sweetie.

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