Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Friday, September 21st 2007

Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon

Posted by Boy Wonder

Facts of interest that occurred on this date in history:

1792 – The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.

1931 – Britain went off the gold standard.

1942 – The B-29 Superfortress makes its maiden flight.

1964 – Malta becomes independent from the United Kingdom.

1981 – Sandra Day O’Connor is unanimously approved by the U.S. Senate as the first female supreme court justice.

1999 – Chi-Chi earthquake occurs in central Taiwan, leaving about 2,400 people dead.

Not entirely cheery, huh? Well, thankfully most of us here think of today as Johnny’s birthday and this is a big one, folks. That’s right – it’s the big three oh for our little porn hippie from Ohio. To celebrate the day Ma H is back out west to join the poolside set of Palm Springs and shower Johnny with love, food and cocktails!

Here on Hazzard Ahead the virtual celebration was spearheaded by RitaPHL and hubby JimPHL who put together this lovely token of affection and made it from ALL of us! Now that’s what I call going the extra mile! We love you, Johnny!

Happy 30th!


11 Comments for this post

 
the frog Says:

I ain’t rotten, I’m a peach
I am sweet and sour and juicy
Fresher than a fruit or a bitch
I’m the hazard in the Johnny

You want a taste, you wanna bite
I may be more than you can chew
Don’t reduce me to just a sight
In some X-rated interview

There’s more to me than a body
I have a brain, I have a heart
Tattoos don’t tell the whole story
Don’t confuse the man with the part

I’m not as open as I seem
The real me is still intact
What I sell is only a dream
Fantasy’s no match for a fact

I might not yet be an icon
At least when it comes to fashion
But trust me I’ll always be “in”
Despite coming out at sixteen

I am and always will be free
This you can’t say for Givenchy
Can’t buy me off with all your gold
I am too sexy for Tom Ford

Miranda Priestly would think twice
Before proffering an advice
With just one glance I’d burn her down
Like I did with that Ewok town

Now at last a toy bears my name
And my brother doesn’t get it
He’d better not try that one game
Or Ma will really have a fit

My saber ain’t light, it’s heavy
Enough to bring you to your knee
Clothes don’t always the man make
Under that skirt I am no fake

I love real men, not phonies
For I’m a Nature Boy at heart
Born in days of wine and roses
I know living well is an art

Thirty years into the cooking
I am not rotten but I’m ripe
To taste and enjoy everything
At this gourmet’s banquet of life.

Happy Birthday, Johnny.

 
gcracker Says:

Happy birthday Johnny!!!!!!

And, Frog, loooved the poem!!

 
Rita PHL Says:

In honor of Johnny’s birthday, I think we should ALL submit our fantasy birthday cake.

Mine is double-tier pound cake with strawberry filling, white frosting and coconut flakes. Mr. Jim loves carrot cake with sour cream frosting.

 
Boy Wonder Says:

Two good choices! Coconut makes everything better!

I go for German chocolate or Black Forest cake.

 
DarkWarrior-413 Says:

Adding my wishes for great celebration- Frohe Gebursdttah, Johnny!!! I do a luscious Zucchini Raisin Torte with Cream Cheese Frosting served a crisp Bulgarian Chardonay! It’s hard to get the wine now but the cake is still doable. Grating zucchini is definitely a labor of love and devotion not to be taken likely!! Trust me. Wishing you the best! Turner

 
Vivien Says:

Oh, my favorite birthday cake probably isn’t a proper birthday cake. Every year for my birthday, I make a fudge truffle torte with strawberries, and a chocolate ganache. It’s insanely rich, and hugely bad for you, but oh so so good.

 
gcracker Says:

Mine is easy: a cheesecake that is raspberry and white chocolate with a chocolate crust. With whipped cream on top.

 
Marastar Says:

Happy Birthday dude. :D

 
elfgirl Says:

Happy (belated) Birthday! I listened to “Ain’t No Other Man” in your honor. :)

Favorite birthday cake: I admit, I’m kind of boring when it comes to cakes. My favorite is yellow cake with buttercream icing.

Coconut is good, but only if it’s *fresh* shredded coconut. Dried, bagged coconut is just nasty.

 
Johnny Says:

My favorite cake would have to be the Dairy Queen ice cream cake for sure.

Thanks so much for the poem Frog, it brought quite a smile to my face!

 
astara13 Says:

Did you get the card I sent?

Happy Natal Day old friend.

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