Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Tuesday, August 21st 2007

Young Man, There’s No Need To Feel Down

Posted by Johnny

The majority of my summers as a lad were spent at the YMCA day camp. They wisely took us on all kinds of fun field trips, but Fridays were always for roller skating.

Finally there was something I could kick ass with – I was the best skater in the entire camp, counselors included. I could back skate and chose to often to show off to anyone looking. That got me in hot water with the wheeled referees monitoring the floor. Nobody was allowed to back skate unless it was an official “back skate.”

The problem with that rule was no one else could back skate. That was, until JoyceLynn came into the picture. She could skate better than any of us and somehow managed to get an official back skate. She and I would have the entire floor and two songs all to ourselves. Too bad there was never a roller skating team in high school; that would have made a big difference to my student status on campus. Well, maybe…

Get a load of my “skating” shirt when I was all of eight-years-old. And how about those ears, huh?

Skater Boy


20 Comments for this post

 
Genor Says:

Oh my God… you’re too cute! Just adorable!

 
p_paolo Says:

so sweet…
… and already fashionable (look at the haircut, uh?!)

 
kjbmtc Says:

For someone who’s famous within the industry you’re in, you strike me as very outgoing… thanks for the insight.

 
Joej888 Says:

Oh mine,fashinable…..
I think I’m so lucky that I could see the Boy version Johnny! :)

 
the frog Says:

Why, I believe the adorable tadpole isn’t wearing any tattoo! Doesn’t this qualify as child pornography?

BTW, I always knew Dennis The Menace was not a natural blonde.

 
Johnny Says:

You are a froggin’ scream man!

There will be much more to come… God I loved that shirt.

 
Rita PHL Says:

Those gorgeous Hazzard eyes! You were such a cutie patootie!

(Bet no one thought they’d ever see those two words on hazzardahead.com!)

 
the frog Says:

Well we’re usually more into hot pattoties, bless our souls.

(someone had to say it.)

 
Ma Hazzard Says:

Yes, my loves… he was (and remains) such a damn cutie. Oh – those trying years. “Ma, my denim shirt isn’t the same shade of blue as my jeans”… “Ma, this little strand of hair won’t go where I want it to – I CAN’T go to school looking like this”.

Those roller skating years were eons ago and every time I hear that Patrick Swayze song I’m back at the skating rink with him.

 
the frog Says:

“my denim shirt isn’t the same shade of blue as my jeans”

Ma, this alone should have told you little Johnny was on his way to the lavender path. I don’t think straight boys even notice blue comes in different shades.

 
astara13 Says:

Yeah, poor Johnny. I know for a FACT that you had tons of “fans” back at school. Of course it was mostly girls in my grade that lusted after you night and day. Remember how you used to come up to me in the lunch room and give me a hug and call me sweetheart and ask to borrow money for a pepsi? Yeah, I became very popular after the second time because all the girls thought you were to die for. Of course I had no clue you were gay…should have…what straight man wears a skirt to school? Ah those were the days…when people only wanted to be my friend when they found out that we were friends, and that I lived next door, and the secret that my bedroom window looked right into yours!

OOPS! (No I did not stalk you OR watch you…. I just knew when you were in your room cause I could see your light on! )

 
Ma Hazzard Says:

Frog, baby-doll:

Are you teaching Ma something new? “Lavender path”… interesting. I’ll have to find out more about the interpretation of that. No, I was way too naive to even think about any type of orientation at that point. However, having said all that, do ya’ think that the fact that lavender/purple are my favorite colors could have some “hidden-repressed” tell-tale innuendoes?

Hope you’re well, hon.

 
gcracker Says:

Ohhh, Johnny… that girl sounds like trouble. Someone better at something than you?? Did they test her for steroid use?

Aww, you were such a cute (and stylish) kid…

Ma H, lavender is my mom’s favorite color too. I think you may have made a new discovery as to the causes of gayosity. Maybe we could pull together a government grant to research this new evidence?

 
astara13 Says:

Hmm… my mom likes lavander too, as does my daughter… So could that mean that it can cause bisexuality in women? And if this is a factor, then I am glad I can look forward to gay grandchildren (If my daughter grows up to procreate).

 
the frog Says:

Hey, MaH! No I didn’t die but my computer did a few days ago. Thankfully a computer vet friend of mine came by yesterday and gave it the virtual kiss of life, which is kind of like the fairy tale one only with a computer instead of a frog and a lesbian princess with the tongue of a sailor. (Lesbians are really good at intimidating computers into putting their shit together. “You think you’ve got a hard drive, ah? I ride a fucking TRUCK!”) And since we’re on the subject, I don’t think your taste in colors and/or vehicles necessarily determines your children’s predilections or even your own, still let’s count ourselves lucky Johnny didn’t end up dating Melissa Etheridge.

And, astara13? Why am I not surprised Johnny was already the heartbreaker back when? More disturbingly, why are we not surprised he wore a skirt to school?

 
astara13 Says:

Hmmm, Frog, probably because Johnny is humble beyond words, and there has always been something special about him. Our high school was not what one could concider open minded. I belive Johnny was the only guy ever to truly dare to be diffrent, and that earned him the hearts of all the younger students. I wish I had a picture of him in that skirt. It was rather fun! Of course, Johnny was the “clean hippy” at OHS. I had the fortune of sitting next to his friend Jesse in Latin for two years, and well lets just say I learned from her all about dreds…lol I am glad that I was a goth kid!

 
Johnny Says:

Oh the memories that astara has given me.

God I loved that skirt, and to clarify it was during my hippie phase and it was a totally unisex print from some shop on the Haight. All the cool hippies boys wore skirts; why should the girls get all the fun out of ‘em? I still wish I could wear a skirt of sorts, they are so comfortable and kind of sexy :)

I also wore a blue flannel robe for about 3 months during my grunge phase.

Oh btw, are we teaching MaH about our secret color codes?

 
the frog Says:

What hippie phase? If we believe Chi Chi you’re still in it, albeit an X-rated one.

And BTW, I don’t see why MaH shouldn’t know about the color purple and the likes when even Ms LaRue’s lipstick shade is no secret to her.

 
astara13 Says:

Oh Johnny, you were the only cool hippie boy at school. The next person to wear a skirt was a goth boy my senior year… and it was a kilt.

And you can do whatever you want my dear friend. I doubt anyone would blame you if you wore a skirt in your own home. If you don’t have one, well then find one… or I could keep my eyes out when I am out and about…. but even Coventry is more posh less earthy now. (Oh gods we are getting old!)

 
chukstag87 Says:

johnny you really were such a cutiepie!

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