Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Sunday, April 22nd 2007

I’m Sorry, Truth Is On Backorder

Posted by Johnny

Waiting in my Minneapolis hotel room for my ride to the airport I did something I very rarely do: I watched TV. There are reasons television is not a part of my life. In the brief time I had the thing on I saw two things: One made me laugh and one made me angry.

The laugh came from a commercial for Nutrisystem for men. To lose weight you have to get all of your food from their company. In this particular ad the company offered a week of food, 7 breakfasts, 7 lunches and 7 dinners for free (with 28 day purchase)! A solidly built man chimed in with an excited, slightly psychotic exclamation of the amazing pizza and chocolate cake that made a stud out of his slob self! The idea that a weight loss company tries to boost business with a ton of free junk food is not only amusing, it blatantly illustrates how our overindulgent culture remains excessive even in the face of dieting.

Next I saw an ad for a new documentary called “Journeys with George” coming soon to MSNBC. Not looking up, I assumed by the upbeat instrumental soundtrack that it was that cute animated monkey that spills spaghetti and runs around causing pandemonium and being generally annoying to anyone in the immediate vicinity. Then I realized it was about our huge horse’s ass of a president so my initial assumption wasn’t far off the mark.

The doco is so obviously a desperate attempt to humanize a man whose face represents the power hungry, trigger happy, dollar obsessed reputation he’s earned for our country. His administration turned their backs and a blind eye to the 100s of thousands of lives that were changed forever in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Our president’s track record in the White House is like a list of atrocities carried out by some hostile regime in a third world country you’ve never heard of and yet he’s the leader of the free world. Revolutions have been ignited over much less. This pathetic documentary aims to give a demon a heart and generate good will of the people through the creative art of good editing and probably a healthy portion of bald faced lies. No matter what they do they can’t erase from the minds of the American people that this guy is a world class moron better suited to selling used cars. He has not only embarrassed us as a people, but has contributed to making us the most despised nation on the planet.

I’m very fond of the saying “No One Died When Clinton Lied” because Clinton’s legacy is a blow job and a dry cleaning bill. Never mind all of the progress he made for minorities or the fact that he genuinely seemed to care about the United States and the people that live here. It makes me wonder what Bush 2 will be remembered for?



18 Comments for this post

 
Pepper E Says:

Well given that his approval ratings dropped to the low 30s (33 now, 35 on a really good day, usually 30), I don’t think he’ll be remembered for much–or anything good.

I’m horrified more or less on a daily basis. I don’t watch any of the 24/7 news channels…but I do keep up with what’s going on. And I watch CSPAN a lot (when I’m not writing or watching porn, clearly), and I think Gonzalez might be this Administration’s Achilles heel. Or maybe I’m just stupidly optimistic, because if the nation ignored everything else he’s done, why would the country care about blatant, disgusting corruption and manipulation in the Attorney General’s office and the criminal system with the President’s explicit approval? Still, a person can dream.

As for Clinton….well, I think my husband said it best when he said “I miss having a grown-up in the White House.” Honestly, I miss Clinton so much I would personally sign up to give him daily blow jobs if it meant he could be in the oval office again.

 
Boy Wonder Says:

Pepper – Thank you for saying exactly what we were all thinking, and taking it a step further! :-P

 
Vivien Says:

My husband is British, and in ‘99, I moved to the UK with him to get married. I lived over there from ‘99-’04, and the reactions I got from Brits when they discovered I was American changed so drastically in that five-year period that it terrifies me. From, “How cool! You’re American!”, to “God, you’re American, will you stop screwing everything up?”

We were actually in Florida with my British in-laws in November ‘00. I spent 3 weeks trying to explain our political process to them, and returned to the UK with less faith than they in how the American government worked. There was a brief upsurge of support after 9/11, but within a year, that had shifted. As the token American, I was subjected to near daily rants about Bush and how his narrow-minded vendettas were exacerbating already precarious world balances. It didn’t matter that I didn’t agree with Bush, that I was actually very against the man and agreed with everything these people were ranting at me about; I was American and that was enough. And these were *Brits*. I shudder to think what other, less supportive countries might say or do in an American’s presence.

Frankly, I wish every American was forced to watch news broadcasts from other countries. They would see Bush and other political figures as the world views them (though, yes, colored through that nation’s eyes). And I really should get off this soapbox now, lol.

 
Johnny Says:

Vivien, I cannot echo enough your suggestion that everyone in this country watch broadcasts from other countries; it would surely open their eyes. On that note I also STRONGLY SUGGEST that everyone take and hour and a half from their day and watch “Loose Change”. Just Google Loose Change and watch the movie made by three students in NY about the events of 9-11 and the government’s involvement. YOU MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. THE MEDIA HAD AND OUR GOVERNMENT CONTINUES TO DOWNPLAY THE EVENT AND CASTS A SHADOW ON THE REALITY OF WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY. IF NOT FOR YOU OR FOR ME THEN FOR THE MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO DIED THAT DAY.

 
the frog Says:

If that’s any consolation to you guys, we might very well take away the Whothefuckdidyouvotefor Award from you if that Sarkozy swine wins the French Presidential election :-(

 
Rita PHL Says:

I have only one correction to Johnny’s posting … it was the absence of a dry cleaning bill which cause Bill all of his problems.

 
grinch Says:

Unfortunately Frog, i think we are going to win this Award…. Do u hear that ‘El cavaliere’ officially give Sarko his support… How disgusting!!! How terrifying!!!
If u decide to move, call me…….. sigh

 
the frog Says:

Grinch, if by El Cavaliere you mean that Son Of a Bush, I’m not surprised given that Sarko the Psycho is one of the only French politicians (along with the far-right) to have given their support to war in Iraq. This alone should tell everyone what an asshole he is, but I suspect any Sarko supporter has as much a grip on reality as a Log Cabin Republican.

To everyone else: I apologize for bringing our boring French politics to this forum. It’s just that we’re a bit depressed to see our country going down the toilet before our very eyes. I’m sure you know how that feels.

 
the frog Says:

May I draw everyone’s attention to this excellent article on the 10 steps to turn democracy into facism. The author draws some striking (and frightening) parrallels between the Bush administration and historical precedents (and which could soon apply to France, too.)

It’s a long read but, believe me, worth every word.

“From Hitler to Pinochet and beyond, history shows there are certain steps that any would-be dictator must take to destroy constitutional freedoms. And, argues Naomi Wolf, George Bush and his administration seem to be taking them all”

 
p_paolo Says:

I love you all…

I was a so called anti-American before hearing the voice of people like you Johnny, and all your friends… now I tell my friends that despite the greedy assholes in power, there’s a lot of great, gorgeous, lovely people whose faces are not in the media… and with whom it’s worth resist and fight back… (in a buddist way of course)…

 
Johnny Says:

Yes there are.
I am happy and proud to be one of them.

 
p_paolo Says:

Frog would maybe throw up at our sugar-sweet “we’re right, we’ll overcome”, but this blog and you make our pride strong enough to kick’em in the ass! (I’ve had a couple of drinks too much tonite) :o ) cheerya!!

 
Boy Wonder Says:

Hurray for drunken comments! It’s the only way to get the real story.

 
the frog Says:

Throw up, moi? I’m as sugar-sweet as they come.

Am I not?

AM I NOT?

Shut the f*** up, bloody crickets.

 
the frog Says:

(And no I’m not drunk, but probably will be by Sunday night.)

 
Angel Benton Says:

Laugh all you want Johnny, but I used to be a Fatty McFatalot, and I went on NutriSystem and lost 35 lbs., and I have been able to keep it off (thanks to a little thing called Cardio Barre), so it really does work.

 
DarkWarrior-413 Says:

Johnny, my military service afforded me the eyeopening and mind expanding good fortune to live in Germany for several years. Yes, living overseas and immersing oneself into a new and foreign culture can be quite informing. Invariably one learns that what wrecks it for Americans is our political screwballs and muckity-mucks! Personal interactions show that people are people and most come to see that we share more in common than would separate us. Sadly, here in the USA, many are too willing to push the latter- always playing up the “They’re not like us- you know, you and me!” angle to any problem. Michael Reagan comes to mind, for one. Sorry, didn’t mean to gross out anyone. Now I have to go view the pics from your photo spread in “Pref 21″

To anyone in the US who isn’t involved in the political scene, please register to vote, get tuned into the political debates of your area and make your voice be known. Silence can mean devastation. It’s that dire, kids! Don’t let bigots decide your limits!!!!!!
And now, “Farscape Continues!”

 
DarkWarrior-413 Says:

Johnny & Boy Wonder,
Love the Hazzard radio mixes!!! Reminds me of partying at Berlin’s party central disco.

Another thing that these Bush suck-ups would like everyone to forget is that Bill Clinton gave the U.S. the largest federal surplus we ever had and this idiot spent it all in six months and then proceeded to give us the largest federal deficit in our history! We’ve lost nearly 3,600 military personnel in a needless ego indulgence of a man who used every trick in the book to avoid fulfilling his own military service contract. It’s not just the Log Cabin Republicans who are in denial.

The Decider- what a farce!! What Winston Churchill helped create (the nation known as Iraq), our Decider of a President, has essentially destroyed. And he says he studies and idolizes Churchill? Someone give this fool a dictionary open to the term idolize, quickly. He’s listening to voices that want to turn Irag into a South Korea duty station for US troops. He should remember that even the British returned Hong Kong to the Chinese- and they respect each other!

I need to find some Francesco D’Macho on YouTube now.

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