Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Sunday, January 21st 2007

Sweet Chariot

Posted by Johnny

Half way through Nevada I had an intense craving for a Red Hook, a local brew here that is one of my favorites. So I put the pedal to the metal and went as fast as I could. After drinking 3 rather quickly I was ready for bed.

My friend Kevin, who was gracious enough to offer me lodging in the city once again, decided that we were going to get up early and hit the gym. This would be my first time picking up weights in about 3 weeks and I was so looking forward to it. At 7:30 we woke and I went out to check Milo and get the bagels that we had been traveling with to toast for breakfast. As I was walking up 14th St I noticed that there was a piece of paper on the street that had the listings for Sirius Radio. How odd I thought, I have Sirius Radio, and before I could begin to process this finding I looked in Milo’s cab to see the contents of the back in the front and the window in a thousand pieces. Yup, Milo had been violated!

My first thought was my father. You see, I had his ashes in a small urn in the suitcase that was now all over the truck. I had not gone through it enough to know what had been taken; it was a mess, an absolute mess. The though of my dad being gone, again, was enough to make me throw up. I then thought “good”, I hope they did take him because he is going to kick some serious ass from the spirit world and make their crack-head lives miserable.

They left dad and oddly enough left the radio face, my Sirius transmitter and everything else. They sifted through everything and made a serious mess, but the only thing they took was my change, my sunglasses and my headset. Kevin said that this sort of thing is typical; they are junkies looking for money. They also took my back pack after displacing the contents. I guess mine was the first stop on a smash spree and they needed a shopping bag. I loved that bag. But it could have been so much worse and I am really glad it went down this way.

I have a cover that locks so I can keep all my shit in the bed and one of the latches broke in Death Valley. There was still the one working on the other side, but a couple strong lifts and tugs could have easily broken it open. We debated whether or not to fix it then or wait till the next morning in San Fran. We opted for a stop at Home Depot in Carson City and Scott, thank god, was able to make the repair. I cannot even begin to think of what may have happened if we didn’t take care of that.

Milo Violated!

Petty looting aside, it’s great to be back in San Francisco. Aside from being a little shaken, Milo was OK. I was truly lucky, dad was watching out for us I’m sure.



9 Comments for this post

 
the frog Says:

OK, that really sucks. Welcome back to “civilization”… I’m glad they left your dad alone, though.

Still, I can’t help wondering… shopping bag, headset, sunglasses? Were those designer glasses? Maybe they were junkies, maybe they were shopaholics. But what we can almost be sure of is that they’re gay, gay, gay. (With an iPod.)

 
Lost in Tennessee Says:

Johnny, I am sorry you had to go through this experience. As a Miami veteran I am all too familiar with the “smash and grab” maneuver. I certainly can empathize with your feelings. Its unfortunate your vehicle was not surrounded by landmines prior to the incident because a missing limb or two may have taught the scum bag(s) a lesson.

 
the frog Says:

Yes Robert, but wait till these scumbag(s) get lost in Tennessee on a dark and stormy night and knock on the door of the remote house of a mad science student who’s been contractually forbidden to work with frogs on his dark experiments… hehehehehehe! [TalesfromtheCryptish maniacal laughter]

Or we could have a contest here on who comes up with the best (worst) scumbag fate (winner gets an oversize t-shirt). My entry: the headset only plays Mariah Carey full-blast.

OK, I think I succeeded in scaring myself here…

 
Lost in Tennessee Says:

Frog, Mariah Carey can certainly be painful. However, confining the scumbag(s) to a small room with a television that only plays “Dharma and Greg” would be gut wrenching. On another note, consider it luck if you are unfamiliar with this American television series. Yet, watching a single episode pretty much explains why the terrorists hate us!

 
lonewolf Says:

Sorry to hear about Milo. I was traveling across country once and had my car broken into as well. It sucks!

Oh, by the way, I like Redhook as well, but it’s from Seattle, not Nevada.

 
jlh8642 Says:

You seem relatively unfazed by the trauma; a sign of strong character.

I just tried the translation option on your site. The result is pretty funny (at least in the French); idioms don’t survive well in translation.

 
Boy Wonder Says:

JLH – If you think French is funny, you should try Dutch! At least, that’s what I’ve been told. Still, at least Babel Fish gives non-English speakers some small hope.

 
aimie Says:

Totally sucks!!! I am working on helping to replace all the amazing CD’s that were stolen. I know my collection does not compare to yours and what you lost but I could at least help out with our old favorites. Oh, and I if I may say….I have only watched the little video you sent about twenty times!! What an awesome way to communicate. Heehee, I love you. OH AND HOW I LOVE THE “GOTTEN MARY’D YET” PIC. That is my next assignment to find a MARY to send to you

 
Johnny Says:

Thanks Gurl! I LOVE U2
JLH, things could have so much worse; I cringe at the thought. The trauma came a week later when I realized that my ENTIRE CD/DVD collection was stolen. I was so happy that Dad and Milo were OK that I completely overlooked my CDs until we were about 30 mins from LA and like a bad taco it hit me. It took all of 20 mins to go through the emotional progression of acceptence and well, it still could have been worse. And I meant that the craving for Red Hook just happened to come into play in Nevada, it wasn’t a statement about its origin. But good eye there buddy – I always appreciate it when somebody’s paying attention to the facts! :)

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