Hazzard Ahead
Johnny Hazzard Blog

Saturday, November 25th 2006

New Horizons?

Posted by Johnny

I am in LA now working on two videos, one for Rascal called “When Bears Attack” and one for All Worlds called “Depraved.” I have some really great partners – this is the really fun part of my job.

Recently I was invited to read for a part in a new TV show. It’s a spin off of the show “Dante’s Cove” called “Dante’s Lair.” It has the same gay theme as DC, but with much more GAY! It is clearly made to cater to the males and also contains a bit of nudity. Go figure.

The audition was on Tuesday in a swanky penthouse in Westwood. I walked out of the elevator into a marble hallway that led to huge black doors. Inside was a waiting room with a TV show projected on the far wall. It was a classic audition scene; people sitting around reading scripts while clutching thier head shots. Some looked at me with a warm look that seemed to say, “Welcome to the cattle call, good luck!” I received my script from the receptionist and glanced at my lines on the leather sofa. As I reached the second page I was interrupted by a really tall guy offering his hand almost to my face.

“I have seen you around a lot, good to see you, good luck in there” he said. He looked like me, dark featured and sort of ethnic; I knew he had just read for the same part as me. That made me feel good and more at ease. I soon met the casting agent who was accompanied by a PA who offered me a glass of water. When he returned he said “I am such a big fan of your work, good luck, I think you will do great!” I must say it felt pretty good to be acknowledged in front of people in that situation. I felt like a peacock showing his feathers. My last interruption was from the Director of Operations on her way out to a meeting. She put her call on hold, held out her hand and said “So good to meet you, I hope this works out for us” and scurried off. It was getting a little “Outer Limits” for me, but it sure felt better that I had been invited instead of showing up for an open casting call.

When my turn came I found myself standing in front of the agent, director, and one of the producers. I was so nervous that I began to smell. I do not wear deodorant usually and my body temperature had risen so high at this moment that I wish I had. I read my lines and then had to pee, in the worst way. It was very cold in there and it made me so jumpy that my voice cracked on several occasions. They said the infamous line “We’ll call you” and I was on my way.

Right as I got to the lobby my phone rang. It was the casting agent wanting me come back upstairs and read for another part. I had a bit more confidence knowing that I didn’t have to memorize the lines this time, just read them from the page. For some bizarre reason I felt as if I had to memorize them out of habit, after all I have never done a “cold read” before. This time it flowed, I knew now what they were looking for based on reading the prior script and felt much more comfortable with this character. Apparently they felt the same because they were very pleased with this performance. The director clapped his hands and cooed with delight when I finished. Always a good way to end an audition.

Later on I met BW and our gal pal Michelle at a bar called The Falcon in Hollywood. They had just come from a screening of “For Your Consideration” and wanted to take advantage of our mutual availability. I rarely get to see Michelle due to familial obligations and schedule conflicts so it was good to have both BW and Michelle under the same roof in a social setting. Michelle has always been and continues to be a bit of social hub of West Hollywood. Before I lived in CA and was out here from Boston we would go out and she would swing from clique to clique doing the rounds “Hello how are ya, hello how are ya” It was a great evening and a good way to begin my time here in lovely LA LA Land.

Queen of WeHo


3 Comments for this post

 
Lost in Tennessee Says:

Johnny, I would like to offer you congratulations. If I may be so bold, I would also like to suggest caution when pursuing mainstream acting. You have achieved a certain degree of fame through your endeavors; however, it seems you have done so without sacrificing your freedom of movement. Unfortunately, freedom of movement is often the first thing lost when mainstream fame sets in. Yet, I would personally throw my own freedom of movement right out the window for the kind of money Brad Pitt earns.

Congratulations on the upcoming films. “When Bears Attack” seems especially enthralling. Will this one leave us in hairy chested heaven?

Finally, deodorant is largely absent from your life? Do you care to explain how this came to be and how well it works out for you? Sorry, I am not having fun at your expense. I am actually intrigued. I think you also suggested men smell better without any help somewhere on this site. Are we talking not bathed in cologne or not bathed Matthew McConaughey style?

 
Johnny Says:

I speak of neither.

I am talking about the natural smell of a man, or a woman or a platypus for that matter.

I have a scent that I rather like. I do not use deoderant regularly but I do on occasion, like at work when I am running around serving Volnay and salmon filets. I use sandalwood oil to compliment my scent: it acts not as deordorant, but adds a new dimension to my own smell. Call it cologne if you will.

I am not really excited about filling the pores of my armpits with aluminum so my skin will be prevented to do what God inteneded it to.

I like the smell of a man, the smell one might consider to be B.O. I find intoxicating. I like it so much that I ask my coworkers not to use it when shooting with me.

So it is the smell that I like, not dead skin cells saturated with the smell of aged sweaty crevices.

 
Lost in Tennessee Says:

Johnny, that was definitely a thought provoking spin on things. Thinking about it, I can relate. My previous place of residence was a rental property and the landlord had a new air conditioner and ductwork installed while I was living there. I remember being attracted to one of the workers (although I would not be able to pick him out of a lineup now even if a million dollars was at stake). However, it was his smell rather than looks that made me hot and bothered. Perhaps there is something to pheromones after all.

On another note, if I were forced to choose between a woman and a platypus, I would choose the platypus every time.

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