The Man Behind The Spell
Posted by Johnny
Tonight Boy Wonder and I finally met James Collins, the songwriter responsible for Sherrie Lea’s “Spellbound”. He is more than delightful. He is charismatic, friendly, engaging at not at all bad on the eyes. We chatted effortlessly over dinner at Sur in WeHo and cocktails at The Abbey. I look forward to seeing him again, hopefully in Canada where he told me his Mom has a house on Prince Edward Island. HOT!
August 10th, 2006 at 10:29 PM
Boy Wonder … seeing your face in this post reminds me of how remise I’ve been in e-mailing you my comments on your abandoned blog. You remain gorgeous.
August 11th, 2006 at 1:46 AM
Thank you, Rita! I’ve found that when faced with the difficult task of being photographed next to Johnny it is best to try and look as ridiculous as possible. Thankfully for me that is an easy goal to achieve! And I look forward to any feedback you have regarding my old blog. That will permit me the opportunity to deny all of those slanderous things I said about myself!
When you’ve worked your way through that blog, you know there is another one even older…
August 11th, 2006 at 6:01 AM
OK, so who’s BW and who’s James on the pics? All it says is ‘easy on the eyes’ and my eyes find them both easy.
Yes, I meant this in a nice way.
No, I wasn’t trying to insult either of you.
Yes, I’ll repeat 100 times: “I’m not half as smart as I think I am. I’m not half as smart as I think I am. I’m not half as smart…”
August 11th, 2006 at 6:03 AM
PS: what old (and older) blog?
August 11th, 2006 at 6:17 AM
Miss Rita (aka imdpass) managed to uncover my old blog circa 2002 through a crafty web search. My original blog from 2000 cannot be found quite so easily.
August 11th, 2006 at 6:58 AM
OK, I’m assuming the “Lance Gear is my daddy” one is James and the “I’m Josh Weston’s kid brother” other to be BW. Did I get it right? Do I get a prize? Do I get any of the 3 as a prize? Can we make it a package deal?
August 12th, 2006 at 11:22 AM
Why Jerrod (BW), I find your photo quite striking, even with the goofy overtures. You photograph well next to Johnny and are quite capable of giving him a run for the money. How about revealing the location of the secret blog(s)? I won’t tell anyone unless you count selling the information the highest bidder as divulging. No, I was not just buttering you up with flattery before in an effort to extract info. Apparently Rita also finds you quite agreeable. Aren’t you lucky, you have caught the fancy of a starving college student living in the bible belt and Rita a witty, female commentator?
August 12th, 2006 at 11:48 AM
LIT - I do have to thank Johnny for selecting the photograph that favored me. We took several and this was the least objectionable in my opinion.
As for the “secret” blog, I’m going to keep it that way for the time being.
Did you get that PO Box yet?
August 12th, 2006 at 4:22 PM
Boywonder,
I am guessing your inquiry in regards to whether I invested in a post office box means you correctly identified me as the individual whom sent you that novel of an e-mail expressing disdain over Tennessee’s shipping policy. Here comes a novel of a post.
Of course, I still stand by my arguments. No governing body should interfere with an of age, credit card holding individuals right to have material of an adult nature shipped to his or her respective residence. If parents want to restrict their children from accessing adult material investing in Cyberwatch and keeping an eye on credit card statements will accomplish that goal. However, the real motivation of the individuals whom imposed Tennessee’s shipping restrictions has nothing to do with protecting children, but everything thing to do with crafting a self-righteous holy land.
I don’t know what their problem is. Perhaps these individuals can’t get it up any more or have been turned down by their sister too many times. Fortunately, individuals residing in Tennessee can have printed material of an adult nature shipped to their home. Even more fortunately Mr. Hazzard is quite well represented in print. I am pleased to announce that I received the February 2006 issue of Unzipped Magazine through BuyGay.com. Normally, I would have purchased the issue at Barnes & Noble because I enjoy the response I get from the middle-aged to elderly women working the register when I slap an issue of Unzipped or Men Magazine on the countertop, but Johnny had left the shelves before I had even discovered the existence of these magazines.
The artistic quality of Johnny’s spread can’t receive enough accolades (hey, Robert finds the human body to be natural and beautiful. He is not just a horn dog!). The photographer really played with lighting and shadowing, which somehow managed to reveal Johnny in his full glory and leave elements to the imagination at the same time. Needless to say gentlemen and ladies if you do not own this issue purchase it today. As far as the post office box goes, my best chance at obtaining a video featuring Johnny would be to custom order through a retail outlet.
August 12th, 2006 at 6:28 PM
Excellent strategy B(M)W!!! The best way to receive compliment is to say we don’t look good!!! Clever our Jerrod! humm humm……..
Blog??? What blogs??? Mr curiosity is back!! But maybe I already know those blogs….. Mr secret is back also!!!
Anyway Frog are u French??? And thanks Frog and Rita for ur comments they are always interesting and nice!!
August 12th, 2006 at 6:36 PM
Oh a silly question: Why johnny is showing us his tongue on several pics??? Did he eat Mexican salsa?? I told u it was a silly question………
August 13th, 2006 at 8:03 PM
Well grinch, I happen to believe the following tried and true academic cliché: The only silly question is a question one fails to ask. However, I suppose there are limits. If you ever find yourself enrolled in a collegiate chemistry course I would not recommend asking the professor if it’s possible to boil vodka and get drunk from breathing the fumes. When it comes to pushing limits past the breaking point I am a champ.
August 14th, 2006 at 8:36 AM
Thanks for the compliment, grinch. Oui, I’m french and living in the glorious country of freedom fries and rotten summers.
As for your silly question, I’m sure Johnny would have a better answers but here are some facts for your education.
The Tongue [täng’] is the latest accesory for 2006. It comes cheaper than a tattoo as you don’t even need an operation. Unfortunately the removal of it is rumored to be more painful than a tattoo’s so once you get one you’re stuck with it. Like all trends it was popularized by Madonna who introduced it to the general public on MTV when she had her cutest dancer try it during a live performance of ‘Hung Up’. Like all Madonna trends, it is generally acknowledged that she picked it from the gay community where it had previously caused a major rift between gay males and lesbians, each side claiming to have invented it first or/and found better use for it. (As of today the majority of straight macho men still believe the tongue to be, along with the G spot, another myth invented by Women’s Lib and commies to spoil their saturday nights.) Other people have gone so far as to claim the tongue is for speaking (sometimes in collaborative efforts) but they’re mostly losers without internet access.
Hope I have answered your question. You’re welcome.
August 14th, 2006 at 8:42 AM
BTW, who else thinks Lost in Tennessee is the best logname ever? Sounds like The Complete Works of Faulkner redux, directed by Sofia Coppola.
August 14th, 2006 at 11:49 AM
I would like to thank the frog for the positive feedback regarding my screen name selection. However, addressing me as Robert may be more efficient considering my screen name is arguably as long as some of my posts!
August 14th, 2006 at 12:35 PM
Robert… love that name. And it’s French, too! (Based on my personal experience, Roberts are really good… at lots of things.)
Anyway. What I really want to know: How did the teacher react to your inquiry regarding Vodka fumes? Do you have to wear a red V stitched to your clothes now? Or D for drinking? Or VD, to make sure the other students steer clear of you?
August 14th, 2006 at 2:12 PM
Yeah, Robert is especially sexy in French - Row Bear!! I believe our dear LIT was simply making light of the silly question remark. I am confident that all Hazzard Ahead readers are well versed in the ways of chemistry.
August 14th, 2006 at 2:50 PM
Damn, it had to be a joke. Just when I thought I had found le man of my dreams…
August 14th, 2006 at 4:27 PM
Well Jerrod, If your definition of being well versed in the ways of chemistry includes an in depth knowledge of reaction rates, equilibrium, and stoichiometry, I certainly meet the criteria. However, I’m assuming you mean something entirely different. That being said it pains me to inform you that this Hazzard Ahead reader is the poster child of chastity. I will not be saving any villages but I’m sure there is a volcano out there with my name on it. I suppose I am the victim of a long bout of self-loathing coupled with residing in areas in which I am a one-man pride parade. I have recovered from the former but the latter is a real stickler.
August 14th, 2006 at 4:29 PM
It was just a good old fashioned double entendre. Judging from the high quality of visitor contributions I have to assume Hazzard Ahead readers are educated and refined individuals; or unemployed shut-ins with sleeping disorders. In either case I am very pleased with the results.
August 14th, 2006 at 4:32 PM
The frog made me blush! I also did not know I was French. This whole time I have been passing through life under the assumption that I was a white mutt when in reality I am a pure bred! On another note, my chemistry instructor called me an idiot through his eyes alone, but I did not need his assistance to answer the vodka question. Of course one could get drunk from boiling an alcoholic beverage and breathing in the subsequent vapor. Alcohol has a lower boiling point than water. If boiled, the resulting vapor would contain the highest possible concentration of alcohol. I have not and will not put this theory to the test. It is probably worth mentioning that I asked this question on behalf of a much for curious individual. I was not assigned any scarlet letters for my chest, but speaking of VD’s is it just me or do all of the people in those Valtrex commercials seem so damn happy?
August 14th, 2006 at 4:44 PM
They never tell those models which product they’re endorsing. Who could render a smile that wide knowing they were advertising to the world that their vage was all crusted over and itchy?
August 14th, 2006 at 5:21 PM
“unemployed shut-ins with sleeping disorders.”
Damn. Busted.