I stepped outside to what was, in my opinion, the first real sunny day since I arrived. I wanted nothing more to sit in the middle of a field on a rock and sun myself like a gecko. I feel like I am a reptile like that when I am here. I search out the sun and absorb as much as possible before it disappears behind the fog and hills. I had every intention of taking some photos of the hills and maybe some interesting people strolling through the Castro, but as soon as I retrieved the camera and powered the bugger on a red battery icon appeared. I have not read the directions yet, but with what little knowledge I have I could tell things weren’t looking so hot. I was able to get this picture before the f%^$#er crapped out. It is at the top of 23rd St. at Noe in Noe Valley. Kevin lives round the block. I am convinced that somehow the power supply was tapped even though the device was instructed to be off. This camera and I will not be together long. I am in the market for something a little more pocket friendly and portable. I can barely fit this guy into my hand.

Lesson today: Life is too short to be shy. Two days ago I was walking down Market St. when out of nowhere this guy named Oliver popped in my head. I know Oliver from P’town and find him to be nearly flawless. There was nothing more to this thought than his face and an “Oh, I wonder how he is doing”. Today I was walking back from my haircut where I had new zig zags put in and who walked right by me? Oliver. Out of the freakin’ blue he was there. He looked as handsome as ever walking with another guy. I was so shocked that I could do nothing but say a genuine, “Hello” and keep walking. I KEPT WALKING!!! Fool! I must have looked SO rude.

At the corner of Castro and Market I kicked myself in the ass and turned around hoping to see him again. I didn’t. I couldn’t understand why my first instinct was to run away. I mean, I had this man in my thoughts out of nowhere, for no reason and I passed up the chance to find out what the universe was trying to tell me. It doesn’t really matter. The point is that I felt that there was something at work here and I ignored it… blantantly. I turned my back on it and walked away like a coward. The truth is that I was afraid to some degreee. Somebody once said to me FEAR stands for Fuck Everything And Run. Yup. That’s it!

I experience this sort of thing all the time. I ask about somebody to a friend and later on they call. I will call somebody and they will say enthusiastically “I was just thinking/talking about you”. I will think about somebody or something and there they are. In this case, 3000 miles away from home. My friend Sarah says it’s more like “tuning in” rather than some psychic intuition. Whatever it is, it’s really cool. However, I cannot remember being so upset at myself in a very long time. FEAR is not something I have a whole lot of believe me! Still, every so often it creeps up on me like a cold sore, uncontrollable and just when I think I have a grasp on it, it’s too late. There are 4 more days before the long journey East and I have a feeling that our paths will cross again. I’m chanting as we speak, darling.

This entry was posted by Johnny on Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 at 9:27 PM and is filed under Ancient History, Just Life, Out & About, Friends, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.