Hazzardous Materials Guide


Morning Wood, Afternoon Impact

Posted by Johnny

The forecast today called for more ice and ridiculously cold temperatures. Soon after we left New Mexico the sun shined bright and clear without a cloud in the sky. It remained this way all day and thank god because we spent a lot of time outside. Today was our field trip to the Petrified Forest and the Meteor Crater in Arizona.

Hard Wood

The forest was first and man what a trip to see these logs that look like wood, had the look of bark and the rings of interior wood, but as you put a hand on it, it’s solid rock. The wood became saturated with silica long ago and over time it hardened to its present state. The ground was littered with small pieces and shards of it and I was really tempted to take a piece although it is strictly prohibited. My rationale was a small piece won’t matter and I really did not feel like purchasing it from a store; I prefer to spend my money someplace that puts my dollars back into the park. Scott politely stated that if everybody did that then the park would surely be emptied in no time. I agreed - reluctantly.

Souvenirs Abound

I am getting much better with my camera and becoming more adventurous with tones, angles and lighting adjustments. Practice makes perfect and experience has always been my best teacher (Scott isn’t half bad, either).

Cold Sun

On the way out we stopped at a shop that sold pieces of the wood that came from an outsourcing station and the owner assured me that it was all keeping in tune with karma. I really like the idea of wearing something that is so old and has seen so much.

It was then off to the crater and we pulled in the parking lot 30 minutes before they were to close; this seems to be a theme with us. They were cool enough to let us take our time and enjoy the crater and museum. This thing is enormous and it is the most well preserved example of a meteor impact in the world. Pictures cannot even come close to illustrate the size and presence of this thing. We were lucky enough to catch the last showing of the film and did you know that sometime in 2020 or there about a meteor will pass near the orbit of the Earth coming in at about 230,000 miles from us? It comes back 7 years later, but they are unsure of how close it will be that time. All through the tour I was constantly reminded of that movie “Deep Impact” and realized that the probability of that happening is quite high. Oh well. If it’s going to happen it’s going to happen. You’d better be wearing clean underwear.

That's a big hole!

Next stop Grand Canyon.

Empty Highway



8 Responses to “Morning Wood, Afternoon Impact”

  1. the frog Says:

    As if being a fun guy, a hot pornstar, a connoisseur of food and wine, an explorer of the beautiful beyonds who just happens to match the scenery, a writer on all the subjects above and more wasn’t enough, he’s now turning into Richard Avedon. Just for the sake of balance, Johnny, could you please suck at something?

    I’m not jealous. I was born green.

  2. Boy Wonder Says:

    I think he’s more like Annie Liebowitz.

  3. the frog Says:

    You mean Johnny’s a lesbian too???
    I’ve heard boys keep swinging but this is ridiculous.

  4. Johnny Says:

    Frog, you are a trip. I always look forward to reading your comments; they bring a smile and a chuckle to my day, and to MaH’s as well.
    And btw…..I am terrible with direction and technical anything. I am also really bad with authority.

  5. the frog Says:

    Thanks Johnny. I’m really glad if I can give back a little to you and MaH.
    I still have trouble believing your disclaimer, though. I mean, we’ve all seen your movies (well, all except Ma, hopefully) and we know for a fact you’re really good at direction by Chi Chi (and authority by Zak Spears.)

    Sorry about that, MaH. Next time I’ll put a spoiler warning so you know when to stop reading.

  6. Johnny Says:

    O trust me! That woman’s ears and eyes have been exposed to alot more than you think :)
    She’s one of the guys!

  7. Lost in Tennessee Says:

    Johnny, are you serious? If my mother ever saw me naked I would put myself deep in the cold, cold ground! I am still occasionally haunted by a memory of her walking in on me while I was busy whacking away (ok, so I just contradicted my opening statement). That encounter was even more disturbing than what happened when my grandmother failed to respect the boundaries of a closed bathroom door during a visit. If you guessed granny ended up standing over her masturbating grandson with lots of mutual screaming, you guessed right! Anyway, that was my long-winded attempt at expressing surprise by the prospect of your mother screening your films.

  8. the frog Says:

    Robert, I was going to point out that your mother has seen you naked more than you can remember but after reading your whole post, I can only say: be thankful you were the only naked one on these occasions.

    As for MaH, I’m sure she was only checking the videos to make sure little Johnny wore clean underwear like she taught him. The sole reason she keeps watching is that she still can’t locate the damn underwear.

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